badlybent.ca

OR - “I must be outta my %&#@ mind”

Someone who either thinks I’m more talented then I am, or really really hates me turned me on to something called “The RPM Challenge“.

The RPM Challenge is something to inspire musicians to record, in a similar way that NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) in November challenges authors to, well, auth.   NaNoWriMo Challenges writers to write 1,700 words per day for the entire month of November.  It’s an exercise to get people writing.  The good people at the RPM Challenge, and also the ones at fawm.org (February Album Writing Month) have taken this idea and given it a musical spin.  They are challenging songwriters to record 1 Album (10 songs, or approx. 35 minutes of recorded material) during the month of February.

That’s right - less then 3 days per song to get it all down and finished.  And then, when you’re all done, send a copy of the CD to RPM Headquarters and they’ll put stuff up on the net…and other stuff.  I’m not really sure everything that happens, but I know that I really want to give this a kick.  I’ve already gotten 8 songs written that I’ve wanted to record for a while now, and this is the perfect reason.  That still leaves 2 to write though, and I think it would be extra cool to actually write 2 during the month of February as well.

For all the gory details go to rpmchallenge.com and check it out.  There are message boards for people that need collaborations, inspiration, help, etc.  so you’re not alone in this.  They also aren’t nearly as concerned about recording quality as they are just you getting yourself down on “tape”.  And of course, the bastards just had to pick the shortest month of the year, didn’t they?  Oh well, I guess most people are locked inside their warm cozy houses at that time of the year, and starting to go a litle Stir Crazy anyways.  At least those of us in northern climes anyways.  I live in Canada and the only winter activities I take part in are A) Freezing my nuts off, and B) Drinking more Vodka to try to prevent (A).

If any of you follow my blog or podcast (remember my podcast?) then you know that I’m a huge fan of trying to get songwriters writing.  My Sieve Song Challenge aimed at doing the same thing, but at the rate of 1 song per month.   That reminds me - in the next couple weeks look for a new podcast aimed at songwriting specifically.  It will recap the Songwriting Challenge as well as reintroduce it, better and stronger then it was before.  Yay.  I’m actually really excited about that.  I’m also all fired up about the RPM Challenge.  As I get songs done I’ll put em up here for you to check out as well.

If any of you are songwriters as well, I’d encourage you to check out the RPM Challenge and sign up, and if you do, drop me a line and let me know, I’d love to hear about it.  I’d also be more then happy to showcase some of the talent right here and on my podcast as well.

I’m also going to introduce a new Song Challenge of my own for February because I figure if you all are going to be recording and/or writing anyways you might as well kill a couple of buzzards with one rock.  Also, it never hurts to have a little more inspiration when you’re writing tunes.

In fact, if you sign up for the RPM Challenge and let me know, I’ll email you 2 song ideas every day (if you want) from the time you let me know you’re going to do it, until the end of February.  Wow, way to give myself more work to do.  Meh, it’s all part of wanting to help people write songs…..

So let me know if you’re going to do the Challenge, and if you are, good luck.  And oh yeah, if you need a hand with some co-writing, or guitar stuff, or something, drop me a line as well.  Always happy to help, as long as you promise to thank me in your liner notes in your Grammy Winning album…..

Take Care and Happy Writing!

Stevie Z

I heard something that kind of upset me the other day on the Canadian Podcast Buffet:  Bob Goyetche was interviewing Andrea Ross, co-host of Just One More Book, about one of the main reasons that she and Mark Blevis pulled the plug on their podcast.

You can hear the complete interview here, and I strongly recommend that you do, especially if you’re a media creator or consumer.   Their show was a project of passion, and she put in an amazing amount of effort.  Both of them put in the blood, sweat, tears and toil (and cash!) because they loved what they were doing, as many creators do.

At the end of the day, all she asked was that she get some sort of return on her investment of passion and time.

Not necessarily money, she said, even recognition would have been nice.  However, it sounds like the Big Marketing Machine in the Sky basically started abusing their show as just another Cog in the process of selling.

It especially hit home after the interview when Mark Blevis point outed that most of the podcasts that he and Bob Goyetche are involved with are there mainly to edify other people:

Canadian Podcast Buffet - Shining a light on the Canadian podcast community, and helping to grow it.

Just One More Book - Pointing out great authors of childrens literature.

Mostly Tunes - Playing indie artists you might otherwise not get to hear.

Electric Sky - Interviews with fascinating people.

Normal media that we consume has a price - we pay a cable bill to get television, we pay ticket prices for movies, we buy music either in CD or online formats (yes, I know, all of the above can be downloaded for free if you really want to) however podcasts, with the exception of a rare few, are ‘free’.  Of the free ones a lot are geared strictly towards generating income for the producer(s) either directly or indirectly, but a remaining huge percentage are works of care, love, and passion for a subject.  For producing these, their creators get…..squat.  They spend their own time, money and resources creating something they love, for others to consume for free.  To me, this is one of the most magical things in the universe: that you can download someones creativity and effort for free, listen to it, enjoy the heck out of it, and delete it when you’re done, without having to give anything in return.

Having said all that,  the first thing that hit me while I was listening to the interview with Andrea was guilt.  I consume podcasts like Tom Cruise consumes crazy, and really when you get right down to it, I don’t give much back.

I’ll let you in on a little non-secret:  media creators (blogs, podcasters) love comments.  We drink them up like those sparkly doofuses (doofi?) from the Twilight movies drink blood - they energize us, make us feel good, and really give us the urge to create more.  And those are just the negative ones.  The positive ones can make us feel, I dunno, orgasmic really really good.

Bob said that “comments and emails and things are the currency that feeds podcasting” and, mixed metaphors aside, truer words were never spoken.

All of that made me feel horrible because I am just as guilty as anybody of listening to dozens of episodes of someones show, and have in quite a few cases never bothered to even drop them a note saying simply “hey, love the show, keep up the great work”.

The fascinating thing is that there have even been cases where some people tried to put projects together where the sole intention  was to have people start interacting more with the podcasts they enjoy.  Sean McGaughey started a project he called “K7 days” where he encouraged people to call in to the message services or even email the shows they love on days of the month that end in 7 (the 7th, 17th, 27th).  That’s only three communications a month.  I mean, how much time would it take to send 3-4 emails or make a couple phone calls in a month?  Probably not that much.  Here’s an idea: while you’re downloading a show, send a comment to the creator about the last one you listened to.  Or, if you’re listening at your computer, send an email before you delete the show.  If you listen to a show regularly, especially if you simply download it from iTunes, do yourself a favour: visit their blog.  Not only do they often have content there that’s not on the show, but it’s also a perfect opportunity to leave a comment or send a quick email.   Bear in mind, it wasn’t so long ago that people used to SIT DOWN, WRITE (BY HAND!) and MAIL letters to television and radio shows they liked.  Sending a comment or an email isn’t that hard, honestly.  I know that I sure as heck need to start doing it more.

We all need to start giving feedback to the creators of the media you enjoy, or they’re all going to stop producing it eventually, and we’ll be left with cable TV and Commercial Radio.  That thought gives me the shudders.

I think that one of the reasons all this really hit home with me is because I’m getting ready to launch not one, but two podcasts in the new year, both of them focused on showcasing singer-songwriters.  It got me thinking about how much effort is going to be required from myself and others to pull these off, and other then the fact that I’m so passionate about good original music that I have actually lost sleep over it, and I tend to jump at anything involving great original songs, why the hell am I going to go through all this effort?  Because I love it, that’s why.  I’m not expecting to make money, but it would be nice for me and the producers to get some encouragement along the way, so it doesn’t feel like it’s all for nothing.

But it makes me wonder - if an amazing, well-produced show with a huge audience like Just One More Book can’t generate enough feedback to keep Andrea and Mark going, what chance do shows like mine stand ?

After the interview with Andrea Mark said “I wonder how that story is going to effect the community, and make people think.”

I think I’m guilty as charged, but I’m ready to start my rehabilitation.  Now, where did I put those email addresses….

Stevie Z

I had one of those “aha” moments the other day.  No, not that A-Ha, the Swedish band from the 80’s.   Although come to think of it I was singing Take on Me last week too.  Wow, 1 sentence in and I’m already off-topic….that’s a new record, even for me.

As I was saying, a deep, profound thought occurred to me as I was being cut off in traffic be some asshat in a Mercedes who was obviously more important then I am.  Actually, two thoughts occurred to me, but I won’t print the first one, instead I’ll enlighten you on the second.  That thought was this: we could solve almost every single problem in the world if we all acted like everyone else on this planet was as important to us as we are to ourselves.

Or, as Bill and Ted said “Be excellent to each other.”

Makes sense, don’t it?  I mean, think about it, there probably isn’t a problem we couldn’t solve if we started putting others before ourselves.  Let’s take a look at a few examples:

•     World Peace - That’s kind of a duh.  We sure wouldn’t want to invade other countries and shoot people if we valued their lives more then our own.  And religious persecution and wars would halt immediately because we’d all just realize that you can have your God, I can have my God, and hey, what do you know, pretty much every God says we should all just get along and treat our fellow humans with respect.  Go figure.  People wouldn’t be persecuted for being gay, for being a different colour, etc.  We’d all just look at each other and say “cool, you like to do that, I like to do this.” This of course does not include fans of the “Twilight” vampire movie.  They will always continue to suck

•     Greed - One of the main reasons that the “hands of the have-nots keep on falling out of reach” to quote Gordon Lightfoot, is that you’re trying to get yours, and I’m trying to get mine.  There aren’t many people on earth who couldn’t give up something to help someone less fortunate.  And if we all cared more about other people, it would be a lot easier to put the systems in place so that what was needed got to where it was needed without involving massive corporations, charities, etc.  And corporations would stop making ‘getting your money’ their number 1 priority.

•    World Hunger - See above.  As I mentioned, if we all just gave a certain percentage where it was really needed, people could be fed.  And since a lot of hunger is caused by things like abject poverty, wars, and greed, then yeah, it could be fixed as well.

•    Disease - This one is both tricky and easy.  If I were a better writer I would sure as hell come up with a better way to say that, but here’s what I’m saying:  Do you know what kills more children in the world every year then anything?  Diarrhea.   Yup, good ole-fashioned diarrhea.  Children drink water that isn’t clean, it gives them diarrhea, and they get it so bad, and for so long, that they die of dehydration and malnutrition.   And it isn’t even that we have to purify the entire world’s water either, although that’d be a good idea too.  There are re-hydrating tablets available that can both help stop the diarrhea AND rehydrate the cells of the person.  They’re literally pennies a tablet.  PJ O’Rourke once looked into this very issue, and concluded that nobody gave a shit (pun intended) because it’s not a ‘glamorous’ cause, like AIDS or breast cancer.   He figured that to raise public awareness we should all wear brown ribbons and go with the slogan “Diarrhea, it can be contained”.  You should read him, he’s brilliant.  Oh, and while we’re on the subject - hey breast cancer marketing people, wanna lay off for a bit? Thanks.  There are a lot of other types of cancer that are out there too, all of em horrible and terrible, but all we hear about is breast cancer.  I should hire those P.R. people to work for me.  Which reminds me - you all know what a huge fan of irony I am, well, apparently there’s a company out there, I’m thinking it’s TFal for some reason, but I could be wrong, that’s selling Pink Frying Pans, with the proceeds going to breast cancer research.  Funny thing is, they’re Teflon coated pans……and Teflon is being researched as a possible cause of….drum roll please….CANCER.  Insert heavy sigh here…..

• The Environment/Climate Change - Look, we can all debate whether or not we humans are destroying Earth until, well, until the Planet dies, but let’s look at a couple of important things.  Firstly, if you look at most of the studies that are saying that humans are not responsible for climate change, you’ll find that they’re funded by interests that pollute.  They have a vested interest.  I don’t trust vested interests.  Hell, I don’t even trust people in vests.  Or ascots, the most unfortunately named piece of attire ever.  Say this out loud “hey, look everyone, I have my ascot around my neck!”  See?  In the interest of complete disclosure I’ll give you my view.  I think that part of what’s going on is a natural cycle.  Since we humans only live for about 80-90 years or so, if we’re lucky,  we tend to forget that the universe and nature can work in cycles of, say a million years.  It’s hard for us to comprehend because we as people think that we’re the centre of the universe, and that things started, and will stop with us.  Having said that, however, I also think that whatever natural cycles are taking place, human beings are also trying their damnedest to destroy the planet too.  How can even the most anti-climate change person in the world argue that cutting down areas of Rain Forest the size of Simon Cowell’s ego can be good for the planet?  Besides making Iceberg Vodka, what good are the polar ice caps melting?  Please tell me the advantage of forcing species after species of animals into extinction.  Cancer, asthma, etc.  rates are through the roof, and you can’t site there and tell me that at least some of that has to do with what we breathe and eat?  If you can seriously tell me that you honestly believe all that, then…well…..I don’t even know what to say to you.   “But Steve, what the hell does this have to do with putting others first?”  Well, it also relates to greed as well - people just have to have more money, and more stuff.  To do that, corporations just have to post as huge a profit as possible, almost to the complete exclusion of consequences, as long as they don’t break the law.  “Hey, this new manufacturing process that we have uses asbestos, UFA, arsenic, and Thalidomide, but it’ll raise our dividend an extra 4 cents per share” Most people don’t need a big huge SUV, but dammit I can afford it, so screw the rest of you.

• Stress - Most stress is caused by other people.  Traffic stress, job stress, etc.  People put stress on us because they are stressed out.  Assclown in the Mercedes that cut me off is under stress because he obviously has to get where he’s going in a hurry, so instead of driving with consideration, he drives like a maniac, not caring whom he cuts off.  Deadlines are caused by someone not having enough consideration for people to make sure that there is enough time to get things done properly, and without freaking out.

Okay, there you go - in one fell swoop I’ve solved everything.  All before lunch.  I’m kidding, obviously,  knowing is sometimes less then half the battle.  But if we don’t as a species, start thinking more about our fellow person, then we’re hooped.  Oh, just so anyone doesn’t sit there thinking “Gee, I wish we could all be perfect like Mr. Stevie Z here” then you’re way off.  I’m part of the problem.  The difference between me and some people, I think though, is that I recognize that I’m part of the problem, and am trying to fix it.   I said trying.  It’s not easy.  The fact that we live in a society that almost forces people to put themselves first doesn’t help.

So, what do we do?  Well, try this: every day, do one or two things that put other people first.  Even small things.  Let that guy in front of you who’s trying to turn out of that parking lot onto a busy street.  Give something to a food bank, or better yet, give some time to a food bank.  It’s really really easy, honest.  If everyone did that, there’d be 10 billion really, really nice things happening every day.  Wow, that’d be cool.

Stevie Z

By Stevie Z

    I was speaking to a couple of artists last night, and as per the usual pleasantries and conversations we exchanged contact info with a look at doing some future projects together.  They both gave me MySpace info.  (Insert frustrated sigh here).

    It seems that most musicians and artists I meet are either completely oblivious to the importance of an online presence, know that ‘yeah, I knowI should do some online stuff at some point’, or just kinda dabble in ‘the usual’ IE MySpace, FaceBook, more recently Twitter, etc.

     I think that what most people miss is the fact that all the above-mentioned sites are great for connecting and promotion as well, but when you get right down to it, you control nothingwhen it comes to your image if your presence ends there.  MyBook and FaceSpace et al are all companies that could disappear tomorrow.  And if they did, so does your online world.  There have been cases where a band had a MySpace page, and MySpace decided for some reason that it violated their Terms of Service, and POOF, page is gone.  Any of those companies could shut you down for any reason they feel like, not to mention the company could just shut everything down without notice.  I know a lot of people who started building an online presence with mp3.com back in the day.  That went sideways and a lot of people were left with nothing online.

   Another thing to remember is this - all these free social media sites make money because they bring information to advertisers and other companies.  Why should you bring your fanbase to them?  Why give Facebook all your best:  songs, blog posts, photos, etc.  Same goes for YouTube.  Sure, you can post your stuff to YouTube, but then own your own domain where you can link to the video (thereby saving yourself the bandwidth) but have control over the context the videos live in.

   Also - comments.  A lot of these sites require people to be signed in to their service in order to comment on, or in some cases, sadly enough, even see your content.  What if I don’t want to be a member of Facebook - oops, can’t read your post unless I am….guess I’ll just move along….

   If you wrote it/took a photo of it/composed it/whatever, then you should own where and how it’s offered to the world.

    Bob Goyetche, podcasting and social media guru-type-guy once gave me some very sage advice over a beer at a conference called Podcasters Across Borders (check it out, it’s an amazing conference that takes place in Kingston, Ontario Canada every year in June).   I had asked him about this very type of thing - about the social media sites that everyone seems to flock to.  One of the best pieces of advice that Bob gave me was to get my own domain (hence the badlybent.ca website) because no matter what happens, as long as I pay for it, I’ll own it.  I can move it from provider to provider, from host to host, and that site, and any emails I attach TO it, will always be mine.

    So if you’re a band, or an artist, or have something to promote at all, one of the best possible things you can do for yourself or your career is to get yourself a domain.  Even www.yourname.com for example, is a great start, and then you can build from there.  That’s another great piece of advice that Bob gave me - have yourself as the ‘brand’ and then have all your projects branch out from there. 

    That’s all pretty damn good advice, and I think I should probably buy Bob a beer for it.  Of course, you can buy Bob a beer too, if you like.  I’m sure he (and his liver) would appreciate it…..

Stevie Z

   If you want some more info about getting your own domain, or host suggestions, please don’t hesitate to drop me a line at badlybentpub@yahoo.ca. 

By Stevie Z

Obviously, the Conservative Party of Canada (formerly the Reform and Alliance parties before they merged.  Maybe they decided to change the name because the Canadian Reform Alliance Party spelled “CRAP”, which, in my opinion, is more accurate ANYWAYS, but I digress….wow, and only 6 words in, too.)   Anyhoo, obviously the CRAP doesn’t read my blog at all, because HERE I plainly asked them to stop sending me their propaganda shit in the mail.

Not only have they NOT stopped killing defenseless trees and sending me the remains (by the way, you want to see the Conservative’s attitude towards environmental issues?  Take a look at how much stuff that they’ve cut down trees, processed using toxic chemicals, printed using MORE toxic chemicals, and then mailed to me, all of the previous using fossil fuels and creating more greenhouse gasses.  Thanks, Stephen Harper, for thinking that one through!  Kudos to you!

Actually, I’ve started saving all the shit they send me…them and Rogers Cable.  I get flyers from them too….almost EVERY SECOND DAY!  No foolin!  So I’ve started saving all the crap the Conservatives send me….and I’m thinking of shredding it and dumping it in their office here in Kitchener.  It won’t be considered littering, I’m sure - their offices are already full of useless garbage…oops, I mean Conservative Party Members….hehe…I said “members”.  Come to think of it, that’s not even a double entendre, because when I say ‘members’, I mean well…libel is a gray area, isn’t it?  Come to think of it again, do you realize that the word “libel” is only a couple of letters away from “Liberal”?  Or that if you switch a couple of letters in the Hadron Collider, you get Hardon Collider?   And the Conservative Party of Canada is only a couple of letters away from “big business loving, ass-kissing, ignorant, heartless bastards”?  I’m not saying they ARE, just that the spelling is REALLY REALLY close.

Um, what was I talking about before I started frothing ?  Oh yeah:  today I got the second stupidest letter I’ve EVER received or even SEEN in my entire life.  The first stupidest (but not by much) was a letter from Sears Canada outlining all their new great Sears Club (IE Credit Card) bonuses, etc. and how much they’d love to present a brand new card.  It was all very standard stuff, if it hadn’t been addressed to Michelle’s mother, whom had PASSED AWAY SIX MONTHS PREVIOUS!   “Bah, easy mixup” you say.   It wasn’t the fact that it was junk mail addressed to someone who had shuffled off this mortal coil, but the fact that Sears Canada was joyfully offering a credit card addressed “To The Estate of…”  Now THAT is stupidity.  I’ve still got copies of that letter, and I’m saving them for a major Sears asskicking someday.

But back to my ORIGINAL, original point:  today I received a letter from the Conservative Party of Canada.  ADDRESSED TO ME.  Let me stress that:  It was very much addressed to me, with my name, and address and everything.  I opened it, and there were 2 pieces of paper inside.  One was a letter with a lot of writing on it, which I couldn’t read because it was in Polish.  The second was Polish on one side, and english on the other.   It explained in fair detail how much a supporter my local candidate was, is, and always will be of the Polish community.  Neato.  That’s great, I’m glad he supports the Polish community.  I know many Polish people back in Thunder Bay.  In fact, my all-time favouritist teacher was Polish.  Ah, Mrs. Orzech, thanks for showing me that being an idiot was going to make life difficult should I proceed down that path.  I also LOVE Polish food.  I DO have to wonder, however, why our local candidate (Stephen Woodworth, btw) informed me of his special love for Polish people since I’M NOT POLISH!  Seriously.  I’m Ukranian.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not offended because he though I was Polish…after all, Poland has more culture then a lot of countries - the USA comes to mind…but that he ASSUMED that I was Polish because my last name starts with a Z, and has a lot of consonants in it.  It also has a Y at the end of it.  I could understand the confusion a LITTLE more if, say, it ended in an i instead.  But a Y?  I’ll tell you Y - because, like most Conservative candidates, from what I’ve seen, have no clue, and don’t CARE to have a clue.  Look at how many CRAP members have had to resign IN THE LAST MONTH or so, because of everything from stealing speeches to mocking the relatives of brave soldiers killed in Afghanistan, to belittling Native Canadians.  It shows a deep ignorance, and, dare I say it, a RESENTMENT of Canadians.  At least, Canadians that don’t own banks or oil companies.

This is an ACTUAL jpg taken from Stephen Woodworth’s website,  for a link.  I think it probably is a great representative of the slack-jawed, dairy cow, deer in the headlights kind of intelligence of some of these people.

Wow.  I guess I should take it down a notch, eh?  I’m sorry if I’ve offended you.  If you’re a Conservative supporter…well, that’s what democracy is all about, eh?  To each his own.  Besides, it’s not like the other parties are throwing up much in the way of alternatives.

One last thing though, even if you’re as pissed off and frustrated as I am over this joke of an election (that, according to Harper’s own “election laws” should be illegal) then don’t NOT vote.  Seriously - if you don’t vote at all it counts as apathy.  If you vote for one of the ‘fringe parties’ then it gives those lunatics validation, so don’t do that either. Spoil your ballot by doing one of the following:  A) put an X at the bottom and write “None of the Above” next to it, or 2) Put an X at the bottom and write “badlybent.ca” next to it.  A vote for Stevie Z is a vote for….well, me, I guess, but I’m not running.  Maybe next time.  Problem is, someone once said something along the lines that if you’re going to wrestle pigs, you’re going to get muddy yourself. 

   Of course, I’m just sayin’

   Stevie Z

By Stevie Z

Okay, we all know I believe in Irony, but I also believe in Cosmic Justice and karma and all that stuff too. Here’s a good example of it in action:

I was putting together a (somewhat) substantial order for an online company that does marketing materials - I was looking for 2 sets of business cards, some car magnets, a table banner, couple of rubber stamps and some pens and keychains. Entire order was going to be a few hundred bucks.

Then, I don’t know why, I checked an old email account I used to use many years ago, but don’t really use anymore. Wow, a little over 2,000 messages in my spam mailbox. Just for the heck of it, I went into the spam box, and sorted the messages by sender. Turns out that I was getting spammed almost ONCE every TWO DAYS from this very same company that I was about to give final approval to the proofs to. This old email is a yahoo account, and I know that since I’ve only recently heard of this company that I hadn’t contacted them before with my old email address, and the old email address, as I said, has been in disuse, and pretty much anything that falls into it is spam.

So, I called the company, asked to speak to the head of their sales department, had them call up my order so that she could see what I was talking about, explained to her that I put spammers on the same level as cat excrement, and that I wished to cancel my order and I would NEVER do business with them again.

I refuse to do business with companies who use spam to sell their products or services. Not only that, but I wouldn’t even pee in their mouths if their TEETH were on fire. Harsh? Yes, but I had to delete almost 20 attempts today to spam my comments board on this blog, and have to deal with it in my inbox everyday. Just like you do. Maybe if we ALL got together and boycotted these asshats then they’d move along. That, or just start phoning them and screaming at them. That may or may not work, but damn, it’ll suuuuure feel good.

Of course, I’m just sayin’

Stevie Z

……YOU!

I was thinking the other day, of how I could expose other people’s viewpoints on things to the world at large - I mean, there are a lot of people with a lot more brains then I have, and much more interesting takes as well, and either:

A) They don’t HAVE a pulpit to postulate from, or

2) They do, but you’ve never happened to have heard of them.

Well, I’m going to open up the floor, er screen to them. Have you got something interesting to say? Something humorous? Something odd?

Obviously, I’m going to try to keep things as family and work-friendly as possible, and I’d like not to be lumped in with any slander or libel lawsuits, so bear that in mind, and I probably shouldn’t have to say it, but hate towards any group of people will not even be dignified with responses. And I won’t be editing or changing anything in any way at all - what you send me is what goes up.   Contact me at badlybentpub AT yahoo.ca

I’m thinking that if someone wants to email me their idea, we’ll take it from there. If you have a blog, website, band, business, etc to promote, then by all means plug away, but I’m not looking for something that’s a thinly-veiled commercial for your enterprises. Have something to say that people want to read. I know, I know - I violate that rule with most of my own posts…but still…

So, let’s throw this at the wall and see if it sticks….

Of course, YOU’RE just sayin’……… ?

Stevie Z

Caveat Reader: This post contains language that some readers may find offensive. Not on purpose, I just got really pissed off while I was writing it. Um, Mom, don’t read it, okay? Neato. Also, the following criticisms most certainly do not apply to you, my friend. Readers of my blog are obviously intelligent, well-dressed, capable and considerate drivers. This is addressed to the assholes who don’t get it, never WILL get it, and probably can’t read anyways…

Alright, this happened the other day, between where I start my day and where I need to get to. Shut down the 401 near Toronto, Ontario (probably one of the busiest stretches of highway in Canada) for several hours. I wasn’t upset about the traffic snarls (as so many others were) because I just took the back roads into Toronto. Sure, it added another 45 minutes or so to my drive, but the drive through the country is SO much nicer.

But this isn’t a piece about my drive. It’s a piece about crappy drivers and road rage.

A little background here: I spend about 5 hours per day driving around Toronto and it’s “greater area” as they call it. On a daily basis I deal with….actually, let’s back up a bit and deal with the accident in the article first, then I’ll do some whining.

Before everyone sheds a tear for the driver of the SUV who died….oh yeah, I’m probably going to get a little politically incorrect and stuff here…but let’s look at the ENTIRE situation that led up to his death:

A) He was ejected from his vehicle, causing his death. He wasn’t wearing his seatbelt! That right there show little respect for laws and/or safety. Also, an informal survey of people in the past has shown me that in most cases, people whom don’t wear seatbelts tend to also tend to speed and drive less cautiously then people who DO wear seatbelts. Think about the people you know who don’t wear seatbelts…

B) He was following way too closely to the car in front of him - if you’re can’t avoid hitting the person in front of you if they should unexpectedly brake, you’re too close. ESPECIALLY when you consider he knew damn well the car in front of him was likely to pull something stupid.

C) Like a lot of SUV owners, he was incapable of handling his vehicle. I see so many people on the roads and highways every day driving their big heavy SUVs like they were Honda Civics - not leaving enough braking room, not leaving enough space for maneuvering, and not considering that other drivers in smaller, more practical vehicles can’t see around or over them.

D) Before we cry for the SUV driver, and demand hanging for the driver of the other vehicle, take a moment to consider what might have been going on in the moments before the crash. I’m not saying by any stretch that the SUV driver deserved to DIE for whatever bullshit he was engaged in, but there allegedly was some some history between these two vehicles that led up to the crash. Until a witness comes forward we won’t know if the SUV driver didn’t do that exact same thing to the other driver before they got to the highway? How do we know the SUV driver didn’t possibly even attempt to run the other driver off the road previously? Let’s not stone or canonize anyone until we know the facts….which may never happen.

The police are so damn quick to jump into the media and decry road rage and aggressive driving, which I agree need to be dealt with…HOWEVER: the cops really do need to start cracking down on the assholes who CAUSE a lot of the road rage in the first place. Let’s take the example of the left hand lane. The 401 has either 3 or 4 lanes each way, depending on where you are. The left most lane is called the “passing lane” or “fast lane” and if you’re going to drive in it for any length of time…..THEN BE PASSING SOMEONE! According to the actual Ontario Highway Traffic Act YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO EVEN BE IN THAT LANE IF YOU’RE NOT IN THE ACT OF PASSING ANOTHER VEHICLE!! There are even signs all over the province stating “Slower Traffic Keep Right” I don’t know how often I pull up behind someone in that lane moving slower then the flow of traffic, who flat out refuses to move over, despite plenty of room to do so. Tailgating, flashing high beams at them, etc doesn’t do anything - I used to do it all. I don’t anymore, because really, what’s the point? But seriously, fuck you. Move over.

Another wonderful aspect to driving: Apparently about 85% of the vehicles out there have malfunctioning signal lights. Well, not really, I think they have malfunctioning assholes behind the wheels. Think about it…it’s called a ’signal’ light or an ‘indicator’ light because you’re supposed to use it to SIGNAL or INDICATE to the world around you what you are about to do! I know that YOU know what kind of brilliant maneuver you’re about to execute, but since I have to adjust my driving accordingly, so I don’t, say plow into the side of your freakin’ car…how’s about a little heads up so I don’t have to be Dione Warwick and predict what you’re going to do? Jerkass.

If I am about to pass you because you’re driving slower then the flow of traffic, DON’T SPEED UP AND CUT ME OFF just because you don’t want me in front of you. This ain’t NASCAR here Tony Stewart, know how I can tell? We’re turning right. If you insist on being a moving roadblock, don’t get upset with me because I want to get home before the new Guns and Roses album comes out.

That cruises me nicely into my next point - PLEASE don’t come racing up beside me with an extra 30 kms/hour over and above what I’m doing, and pull in front of me and SLAM ON YOUR BRAKES TO AVOID CRASHING INTO THE PERSON IN FRONT OF ME!! Congratulations, you’re now approximately 17 feet closer to your goal, and you almost wiped out 3 cars in the process. Go you, assclown.

Since I’m already on a roll here, I’ll throw in the people who drive around lost. Gee, I don’t know where I’m going, so instead of pulling off to the side and letting the 13 cars that I’ve collected behind me because I’m going from 70 kms/hour and then down to 20 while I look around me in stupid confusion go by me, I’ll continue to signal left, then right, then speed up and slow down again. Look, Magellan, pull off the road, buy a map, make a phone call, do what you have to, but GET OUT OF THE WAY WHILE YOU DO IT!

And since this has also been in the news lately…cell phones. Oh tiny, tumor-causing chunks of plastic and metal. What would do without you? I’ll tell you what we’d do - WE’D DRIVE A LOT BETTER!! I think that anytime there is even so much as a fender bender on the roads or highways the police should subpoena the cell phone records of the persons involved. If the time of the crash corresponds to the time the cell phone was being used, BOOM, automatic fine or penalty. I think the penalty should be to have the phone shoved up the person’s ass. And if it’s a flip phone, open it first. If it’s a camera phone though, I don’t think we need to see the inside of their colon. We already know what an asshole looks like…they’re the ones causing the accidents.

Look, it’s a car. It’s not a phone booth, or a movie theatre! WHY ARE THERE DVD PLAYERS IN CARS?!?!? And those GPS units are another great distraction too. Buy a map. Or yet, hey, look up where you’re going ahead of time, and print off the related maps. Then you have a personalized map. Yay! Our ancestors made it through giant primeval forests, and ships can navigate across seemingly endless seas without maps our even street signs. If you can’t get from here to WalMart without some Artificial Cow’s voice telling you “turn left in 2.3 kilometers…..turn left in 2.1 kilometers” etc, then please, head to the British Columbia, take the Sea To Sky Highway…and turn…left…now.

Finally, speed. I will be the first to admit ( I say ‘admit’ like it’s something I should feel guilty or ashamed about) that I tend to often drive over the posted limits. If it’s 50 I’ll frequently do 60…if it’s 60 I’ve been known to do 70-75. On our nation’s highways, where the posted speed is often 100 KMs/Hour, I’ll commonly do 120. But here’s the thing - if traffic is heavy, I SLOW DOWN, if the weather is crappy, I SLOW DOWN, if it’s night time, I SLOW DOWN. I drive according to conditions. And to the people who puff themselves up with Righteous Indignation and testify that “Speed Kills!!” I say “no it doesn’t. Speed doesn’t kill, the inability to handle your vehicle in the situations, and most of all, stupidity kill. If you’ve lost control of your car because you were doing 130 in a 50 zone and, gosh darn it, you just couldn’t make that turn, then the cause of the accident wasn’t speed, it was stupidity. Don’t lump me in with those dickheads. Want to know a HUGE unsung cause of accidents? Driving too SLOWLY. Yeah, that’s what I said. If the posted speed is 100 kms/hour, the flow of traffic is 110-120, and YOU are doing 90, guess who’s the problem? People have to change lanes to cut around you, and that creates potential accidents. Speed up and drive with traffic, or get in the kiddy pool. If you’re not comfortable with those speeds, DON’T DRIVE ON THE HIGHWAYS!

I could go on and on a list a million other things that idiotic, blind, stupid and just plain ignorant drivers do that I see every day, but I’m sure most of you are familiar with these and others. In fact, leave a comment below about what pisses you off on the pavement.

Until the police start really tightening up the leash on puddingheads that cause the road rage, then it will continue. And it’s pretty obvious that as the pressures of money, gas prices, workloads, etc get more intense, road rage will worsen exponentially. Add to that the fact that most people seem to feel a false sense of security in their cars, and they forget that the person they just cut off and forced to swerve to avoid hitting you isn’t another car: it’s someone’s father. Or their mother, or their son, or their sister. You’re not more important then me, and I’m not more important then you. And if you have to drive like a maniac because you’re late, don’t put my life at risk, shithead, learn to organize your time.

Calm the hell down, learn to drive properly, and have some consideration for those around you.

Of course, I’m just sayin…..

Stevie Z

I saw this article the other day online, and it really kind of upset me. I’ve never been much of a cat person to be honest, even though I have 2. My wife wanted a pet of some sort, and a dog just didn’t fit in that much with our lifestyle (we’re on the go a lot), fish and rodents are kind of boring, birds make more noise then I do, so a cat seemed like the right choice.

Here’s the kicker - I’m allergic to cats. Not just a little allergic, a lot allergic. We’re talking gasping, wheezing, sneezing, coughing, eyes pouring tears, rashes and hives, swelling-up allergic. Whenever I walk into even a pet store, for example, that has cats in it, after a couple of minutes my throat starts to tickle, so I have to bail.

I tell you this A) to add a little more length to this blog post, and 2) because I felt really bad that I couldn’t just go to the pound and adopt a cat. I really wanted to rescue a little kitty that needed it, but it wasn’t an option because I would have been dead in 10 minutes if I’d walked into the Humane Society here in town. So I had to buy a Bengal cat, which is a domestic cat that was cross-bred with an Asian Leopard wildcat. I’m glad I wasn’t there for that, it would have been interesting….but I digress.

One of the fascinating aspects of the Bengal is that they tend to have more of a ‘pelt’ then regular cat hair, and because of this are somewhat hypo-allergenic, and therefore, won’t kill me. We ended up with 2 because another characteristic is that they really really love to play, and when we got Sushi (our first one) we quickly realized she needed someone to tear around the house with, hence the addition of Sake, our second Bengal.

I still feel bad about not being able to rescue a kitty from the pound, however, and since I can’t even volunteer there because of my allergies, I drop off a big-ass bag of kitty litter (or “Shit Rocks” as I like to call it) when I can because they always seem to be in need of it.

So I’m asking ya’ll to do this - head down to your local Humane Society and see what you can do to help. If it’s donating some cash, great. Maybe drop off a few bags of litter or some toys or something - see what they require. And especially if you’re looking for a dog or cat, please, look to the Humane Society first. So many dogs and cats sit in tiny little cages, some for really long periods of time just waiting for someone to give their love to.

I thank you, and more importantly, they thank you.

Of course, I’m just sayin….

Stevie Z

….but then I made the mistake of checking what the Fisheries Minister was up to now. Oops. You can check out the entire article on Yahoo News here:

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/cbc/canada_seal_arrests

Copied below is the letter I’ve just emailed him. Why did I do it? I dunno. Probably because he is making the entire thing personal, between himself and the sealers, and the protesters, and possibly biasing the justice system. Never mind about whether you actually support the seal hunt or not. This email is in regards to some really, really, really stupid comments he made to the media. No wonder Prime Minister Harper tries to keep gags on most of his ministers. Mr. Harper, I think it’s time to tighten Hearn’s. He’s still audible.

“Hearn: (I REFUSE outright to use the term “honourable” when connected with your name)
I recently read this article on Yahoo News: http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/cbc/canada_seal_arrests
In it I see the following quote:
“However, Fisheries Minister Loyola Hearn said the arrests were made within Canadian waters. At a news conference after the raid, he told reporters the officers had stopped “a bunch of money-sucking manipulators” from interfering with the hunt.”
How, exactly, do you expect these people to get a fair trial (you may have to look that one up) if you go around spouting off your biased crap to the media ? I thought that this country kind of went by the whole “innocent until proven guilty” theory.
Oh, wait, I just read that you’re a “Progressive” Conservative (oxymoron anyone?)
Sorry to have wasted your time….
Stevie Z.”

Harsh? Not really when you think that A) we’re talking about people who were brought up on charges, and are probably counting on a fair trial, and 2) Loyola Hearn is supposed to be educated and trained well enough to refrain from making asinine (had to look up the spelling on that one) comments to the media, and not to call people names. Unlike me.

I don’t think that (Sea Shepherd Society) head Paul Watson is entirely blameless at all. In fact, I think that sometimes he sounds like he’s a ravening lunatic who needs to be calmed down a little. I also think that Fisheries Minister Loyola Hearn is capable of some pretty stupid utterings himself sometimes. (hell, ain’t we all?) I think the frustration levels of both parties is at the point where things are getting escalated.

Like almost every conflict, disagreement, bar fight, war, divorce and argument though, what’s right and fair probably lives somewhere in the middle. Unfortunately, both sides are too hyped up on their own rhetoric.

Should there be a seal hunt? Maybe….probably….maybe not…..I don’t know. I’ve got shit to worry about like keeping food on the table and a roof over my head to really do too much research into it. And I’m no hippy tree-hugger or anything like that, that’s for sure. I eat meat, wear leather, and tip cows. Of course, the only problem with cow tipping is trying to figure out if 15% was fair for the service received. It seems kind of obvious to me, however, that if we’re going to kill animals to eat, wear or otherwise process and consume, that we should do it as humanely as possible. Chasing a baby seal across an ice pack with a club or pick in your hand while the thing screams in mortal terror, and upon catching it, clubbing it over the head or driving the pick into them doesn’t seem maybe like the best way to go about it, does it?

Before I weigh in on whether this should even happen in the first place, never mind the inhumane way they do it, I’ve got a lot more reading to do. Problem is that most of the sites and people that have the information are screaming at the top of their lungs and raving about this and that and calling the other side names. It’s hard to educate yourself in that atmosphere. One thing that isn’t being disputed is the way it’s gone about, as evidenced below:

Nice photos, eh? How’s the dinner sittin’ now? I decided it wouldn’t be fair to show you all the photos I’d found of dead, skinned seal pups that were killed only for their fur/skins, and the rest of the bodies left on the ice to rot. Yummy.

This is the part where I could get myself into trouble by suggesting that someone should chase……oh never mind. The seal hunt makes me personally uncomfortable, but then my livelihood doesn’t rely on it.

So should there be a seal hunt at all? Yes? No? The answer probably lies somewhere in the middle.

Peace, love, and Seal Pups,

Stevie Z