badlybent.ca

Well, it’s done.  The 2010 RPM Challenge is over,  and you know what ?

I did it.

Yup, yours truly, the Procrastibator himself actually finished it.   And it feels awesome!   You know what else feels awesome?  Yes, that too, but I’m talking in the context of the Challenge here.  Two other people whom I know and consider friends and fantastic songwriters also finished.  Don Sawchuk and Robbie Hancock, whom I had told about the challenge and had entered on their own did it too.  Maybe that’s what helped push me towards completion when the going was rough - knowing that 2 other guys I knew and respected were doing it, and most likely going to complete it, and there was no way that I, the guy that brought up the whole thing in the first place, wasn’t going to make it as well.

In case you don’t feel like following the above link, here is the Challenge in a nutshell:

A) Record an album - 35 minutes - of material in the time period of Feb. 1 to Feb. 28.  For the hardcore out there, it’s also preferable if you wrote the album in Feb. as well.

B) Send it in to RPM headquarters in New Hampshire.  Must be postmarked no later then noon on March 1.

C) Raise arms in victory.

D) Catch up on sleep, and detox.

And I did it.  I still can’t believe I did, but I did.  I know, holy shit, eh ?  It was close, very close.  I was doing the final mix of the final song at 11:55 on Feb. 28, and coincidentally I dropped it off at the post office at exactly 11:55 AM the next day.  I had to literally speed walk to the post office to do it, but it got done.

I almost once again fell victim to what i call the “Procrasti-Monster”.   Oh, it started off great: January 25th I got one of those write-on/wipe-off calendars and planned the month out completely.  I even had most of the songs already written.  I know that it’s preferable to write everything in Feb. as well, but hey, it was my first Challenge, and I didn’t want to try to accomplish too much in case I accomplished nothing.

As I was saying, the entire month was planned out, I contacted some visual artists I really respect to put some album art together, and as of Feb. 1 I was ready to roll.  In fact, just to make a point I started laying drum tracks down at 12:01 am on Feb 1.

My first track was a spoken word piece, inspired by a poem that The Scarborough Dude wrote and read on his podcast.  In fact, it was so inspiring that I decided to scrap Plan A entirely, and go with a newly-improvised Plan B.  It would be a…CONCEPT ALBUM! Yes - inspired by Scarborough Dude and the Olympics I decided to have a theme of Canada…with a couple of songs about cats just to round things out.  That would be awesome!  I was a musical GENIUS!  I began planning the new album immediately…..

….then something happened: I got a writer’s block.  Here I was with the greatest idea for a concept album since Pink Floyd’s The Wall (okay, not really, but at the time it seemed like it) and I couldn’t get things to flow the way I wanted them to.

Some people know how to deal with writer’s block.  I’ve tried dozens of methods over the year, and I’ll let ya’ll in on a few of them someday, but this time, maybe because I had an actual physical deadline nothing was working.  So I did the most logical thing….

…I froze.  Up.  completely.  I neither wrote nor recorded anything for almost 2 straight weeks.  I watched a little Olympic coverage, some American Idol (yes, I was that desperate) and puttered around the house.

With a little less then 2 weeks to go, a plan started to emerge from the fog.  It was an idea for another concept album, one that would free me from the constraints of having to do picture-perfect recordings, would allow me to write it in February after all, and one that I could actually pull off!

I’ll get into more detail about the album in my next post, but suffice it to say that I’ve got a lot of people to thank for getting done what I needed done, whether it be collaborative work, ideas, voices, etc.   I’ll mention them here, but I go into greater detail in the liner notes, and will also go into more detail on my post regarding the album itself. In no special order, I’d like to thank The Luverly Michelle(tm), Mark and Natalie Shantz, The Scarborough Dude, Paul, Tanja and Mackenzie McCallum, Dr. Ignatio Castillo, Robbie Hancock, Don Sawchuk,  and Mike the guitar tech from Sherwood Music.  If it wasn’t for the above people, well, the album might have got done, but it wouldn’t have been nearly as cool as it turned out.

Perhaps most of all, however, I’d like to thank the people behind the RPM Challenge.  What they do over there is pure brilliance.   As they like to say “it doesn’t have to be the album, it just has to be an album”.  While I’m not sure anyone who participated in the Challenge thinks that their Challenge album is the best thing they’ve ever produced, it’s a good way to force people to write and record.  As Robbie said at one point it got him “motivated to record some songs that should have been recorded years ago”.  Amen brother.  The Challenge got me thinking, writing and recording.  It’s a known fact that the more you do something, the better you get at it.  The RPM Challenge got me to write an album that would never have existed otherwise.  I guess the reason that I dig the Challenge so much is because it also does what I tried to get people to do with the Monthly Sieve Song Challenge.  Anytime somebody creates a song that never existed before, the world is a better place.  Unless it’s Nickelback, but face it, they’ve been creating the same song over and over for years anyways.

To celebrate the victory that Robbie, Don and I had just achieved, I invited them over to my place on March 1 for a “Listening Party” so we could hear what each other had done, and open the bottle of champagne that I had purchased for the occasion.  Listening to what Don and Robbie did reminded me again that they are both great songwriters, and it was a pleasure to be able to hear new stuff from both of them.   As I expected, after hearing what both of them had done, mine was a complete left-turn.

Speaking of how my album turned out, I have to say that although I’m thrilled to death with it, I’m also not totally happy with the final product.  See, when you have a deadline that’s zooming at you like a runaway Toyota you tend to have to say “that’s good enough” a lot .  There are a lot of mistakes on the album, a lot of production tweaks that need to be made, little touch ups here and there to be done, and to be totally honest two more tracks to be recorded that I didn’t have the time to do.

So, I’m going to spend the next couple of months lovingly tuning and honing each track until it’s as polished as it needs to be for me to be happy with it, and then maybe I’ll throw it up on iTunes and put out the CD for sale.  Who knows?

This Challenge has given me lots of ideas, most of which are still sitting there, waiting to be snatched up and placed with care into their own cradles of song, and I’ve learned a lot more about the recording, editing and mixing process.   And, it’s given me something I never had before: and actual ALBUM.

As a matter of fact, it’s given lots of people albums, and even more then that, it’s helped midwife into existence a ton of music that never even existed before February 1, 2010.

And that can only be a good thing.

Peace, Love, and Guiness,

Stevie Z

  I said it on Twitter and I’ll say it again - put me on a ladder and get me to paint without repealing the law of gravity, and bad things are going to happen.

I was painting the outside of the house today and took a little spill off the ladder.  The good news is, I didn’t have to spend 6 hours in Emergency at the hospital this time  (last time I fell of a ladder I put my hand through the top of a ceramic-top stove….and hey, whaddaya know, that isn’t tempered glass!) the bad news is that I’ve been hopped up on roofies errr, painkillers most of the afternoon, and I didn’t get to take advantage of the good weather today near as much as I hoped to.

Still have to paint over 3/4 of the outside of the house, stain the deck, replace the carpeting on the front and rear steps, reaseal the driveway and ‘nice up’ the other landscaping stuff around my yard.  Problem is, paint, stain and sealer need decently warm and sunny weather to work well, and we’re rapidly running out of good weather in Kitchener these days.   So, provided I am able-bodied enough to get my ass to work tomorrow, I have a good 8 hours or so of moving 500 LB drums around, and then have to try to get another elevation of the house painted before it gets dark.   Ah well, don’t cry for me, Argentina, it could always be worse.  My uncle fell off a ladder and ended up in the hospital for 3 days, and some people fall off ladders and end up dead, so I guess I got off light.

After dark tomorrow, I shall be recording the September Results show for The Sieve! Song Challenge.  My apologies to those who sent in entries and are awaiting to hear them.  I’m was hoping to get a couple more in, but the people I was waiting for apparently weren’t able to finish them, but here’s to hoping we’ll hear them soon.  As for my entry, well, I may just throw the ‘demo’ version up for all and sundry to witness.  Hey, it’s punk, it doesn’t have to be pretty…..

Of course, I’m just limpin’

Stevie Z

By Stevie Z

Okay, we all know I believe in Irony, but I also believe in Cosmic Justice and karma and all that stuff too. Here’s a good example of it in action:

I was putting together a (somewhat) substantial order for an online company that does marketing materials - I was looking for 2 sets of business cards, some car magnets, a table banner, couple of rubber stamps and some pens and keychains. Entire order was going to be a few hundred bucks.

Then, I don’t know why, I checked an old email account I used to use many years ago, but don’t really use anymore. Wow, a little over 2,000 messages in my spam mailbox. Just for the heck of it, I went into the spam box, and sorted the messages by sender. Turns out that I was getting spammed almost ONCE every TWO DAYS from this very same company that I was about to give final approval to the proofs to. This old email is a yahoo account, and I know that since I’ve only recently heard of this company that I hadn’t contacted them before with my old email address, and the old email address, as I said, has been in disuse, and pretty much anything that falls into it is spam.

So, I called the company, asked to speak to the head of their sales department, had them call up my order so that she could see what I was talking about, explained to her that I put spammers on the same level as cat excrement, and that I wished to cancel my order and I would NEVER do business with them again.

I refuse to do business with companies who use spam to sell their products or services. Not only that, but I wouldn’t even pee in their mouths if their TEETH were on fire. Harsh? Yes, but I had to delete almost 20 attempts today to spam my comments board on this blog, and have to deal with it in my inbox everyday. Just like you do. Maybe if we ALL got together and boycotted these asshats then they’d move along. That, or just start phoning them and screaming at them. That may or may not work, but damn, it’ll suuuuure feel good.

Of course, I’m just sayin’

Stevie Z

As a lot of people know (because I’ve bored almost everyone I know) I am in the process of moving my living room and office downstairs.  Half of the basement of our house is “finished” and half is “utility”.  By “finished” I mean that it is done in Retro 70’s Early Cheese.  Not because it was decorated like that on purpose,  but it was last decorated IN the 70’s.  Cheesy brown faux-wood panelling matched the cheesy bright-orange-and-brown almost-but-not-quite shag carpet.   And don’t even let me get started on the lamp/ashtray that was down there.  I’ll post a photo of it when we’re done, because, well, you have to see it to believe it…..

So we primed and painted the panelling (it actually looks pretty cool, with the grooves adding a nice effect), and I re-tiled part of the ceiling and then we primed and painted that, and steam-cleaned the carpet since we couldn’t afford another $800ish for a new floor.

That was when the fun really began.

We had noticed it was really cool in the basement, but had never noticed that it was slightly damp.  Then, The Luverly Michelle steam-cleaned the 26 year old carpet, and the humidity level shot up to roughly ‘tropical rain forest’.  Seems the crappy ole’ carpet had a backing that was, apparently, made of sponge.  90% of the water that the steam cleaner put down, stayed down despite Michelle’s best attempts to suck it back up.  We could have hydroponically grown pot plants in the carpet if we’d so desired….and would have if we would have thought of it earlier…..I’m kidding Mr. RCMP Officer.

So, a workmate of mine, from work, mentioned that he had renovated his basement some time ago, and the first thing the contractor told him to do was put a dehumidifier in as soon as the work was done.  A little light went on in my head. 

$200 and a trip to Canadian Tire later (it’s a department store in Canada that specializes in automotive and household hardware, tools, fixup stuff, etc) I had a nice Whirlpool dehumidifier.

So I plugged it in, turned it on Maximum everything and went upstairs and had a beer or 3.  A couple of house later I came back down and checked the water catch basin.  There was over a gallon of water in there.  Already.  Yikes.  We’d already moved the computer and recording equipment down there - I can’t imagine what kind of damage another 2 weeks in that humidity would have done to all the electronics.  Yikes again.

 On a somewhat-related note, here’s how much I love my wife…..or how whipped I am, either/or…

We have been using the spare bedroom in our house as an office/computer room since we moved in 4ish years ago.  During that entire time I’ve been bugging The Luverly Michelle to let me convert it entirely into a recording studio.   Nothing major, just some sound absorbent stuff on the wall, get rid of the TV in there and the bookshelf…you know, minor stuff.  Every time I brought it up I was met with the argument that “we really can’t spare the space because then we’d have to move the office somewhere else, like downstairs, which isn’t finished”.  Not being a big fan of arguing, I’d lay off the idea for 2-3 months before raising it again.  Turns out, one of the main reasons that Michelle wanted me to get cracking on the whole ‘finishing the basement’ project wasn’t just so we could move the living room downstairs ( we don’t have an air conditioner, so it’s usually about 28C in the summer upstairs, but about 8 degrees cooler in the basement) but also so we could move the office downstairs and she could have the old office for a sewing room!  Well, she outsmarted me there…which isn’t that impressive actually - my cats outsmart me on a regular basis.  So, I moved the office stuff downstairs as well, and then moved her sewing desk, cutting table, etc upstairs.   We also moved and hooked up the ancient computer upstairs as well.  I was gracious and let Michelle have the computer speakers that I was using for the new ‘puter too, cuz I’m such a nice guy.

Here’s where it gets good though:  I think I ended up with a much better deal then my wife.  I’m not worried about her finding this out - she never reads this blog.  She actually has a life and stuff, and therefore better things to do.  Plus she doesn’t think I’m entertaining…..unless she watches me playing squash….that she thinks is heeelarious.

Anyhoo, here’s great thing is that I got to go out and buy a new set of ‘puter speakers.  And I picked up a fantastic pair of Altec Lansings.  Also, from what I’ve been able to determine so far, the acoustics downstairs are amazingcompared to what I was dealing with before.  Conditions for recording couldn’t be better!  Yay me!

So I guess the morals of the stories are these:
A) Dehumidifiers are your friend.  But, and this is so important that it was in BOLD type in the first page of the dehumidifier manual: DON’T DRINK THE WATER FROM THE DEHUMIDIFIER BUCKET.  YOU COULD GET SICK!

2) Always give your wife what she wants…but only if you have more to benefit then she does….

Of course, I’m Just Sayin’…

Stevie Z

I don’t know if all of my readers are aware of this, but I also have a podcast.  You can find the link over there on the Blogroll (Mmmmm, delicious blogrolls, great with some wasabi and a little soy sauce) or you can just click here you lazy bastard.

It’s similar in content and style to this blog, with some kickass music and ‘bits’ thrown in for good measure.  Also, you get to actually hear my sexy, sultry voice, which, face it, is worth the price of admission right there.  It’s been a while since I put out the last episode, but I’ve got a couple in the can that I’m editing and putting the finishing touches on right now so I can hopefully release them this weekend.  So, check out The Sieve! podcast if you get a chance. 

Your best bet is to subscribe in iTunes (just type “the sieve” into the search bar and click on ’subscribe’ because then you’ll get each episode sent to you while it’s still steaming hot, and you don’t have to keep checking the website and cursing me because I don’t have a new show out. 

So come on down and check out The Sieve! which is put out weekly…actually, that was a typo, I should say “The Sieve! is put out weakly”.

Of course, I’m just sayin…..

Stevie Z

Tonight, I watered my nose. Well, I didn’t put water on it, I put water in it…..or more accurately, through it.

Huh?

I can’t even remember where I heard about this first, it was probably The Luverly Michelle™ who first told me about it. It’s called “Nasal Irrigation” or “Nasal Lavage” if you’re French, or from the Mayo Clinic. It basically involves pouring or squirting a saline solution through one nostril, and letting it fill your sinus cavities and drain out the other nostril. I refer to it as “controlled drowning”.

There are specific apparatuses you can buy to do this, for example the Neti Pot. Rather then spend $20 on one of these to try it once and never use it again (I suppose I could have used it to water flowers or something if it hadn’t worked out) I decided to use something around the house that I already had for my first attempt. Well……looking around the house for something that approximated a Neti Pot I seized upon only one thing that I thought would work: my small tea pot. It’s very pretty, and about the same size as the the Neti Pot. Oh, by the way, the pot is not named after the Abominable Snowman…that’s a YETI. Trust me on that one.

I’ve been working up the nerve for a few weeks now to try it, till either curiosity got the best of me, or I was drunk enough. Well, tonight it happened. I hadn’t been drinking (yet, the night is still young) but my allergies were really bugging me. Happens every spring. I hate taking antihistamines - they make me feel even slower and stupider, and I don’t like putting drugs with the word “inhibitor” in the description into my body. “Aha!” I thought to myself, “Here’s my chance!”

So…..I went to this website to get the recipe and details, ran the water through my Brita filter, mixed in the salt (I used Kosher Salt…I always use Kosher Salt…..for cooking, for seasoning, for melting ice, and now, apparently for filling my head) and poured about half (about a cup) into the teapot. I then locked myself in the bathroom. The Luverly Michelle™ wanted to watch, but, I mean, hey….would you want an audience while you’re standing there with a teapot spout shoved up your nose? Me neither.

I took off my glasses, raised the teapot as if in a toast, and gave myself a good long look in the mirror. I was just making sure I wanted to do this, after all, this is the first step towards drowning. So, bending over the sink, I tilted my head to the left and……..found out quickly the teapot spout didn’t quite fit into my nose. I had to kind of stretch my nostril over the spout by pushing and twisting it into my nose. “Ain’t that pretty at all” to quote Mr. Warren Zevon (RiP).

Finally, after a little twisting and moving and, um, well, to be honest I’m at a bit of a loss to describe the actions one does when trying to push a teapot spout into their nostril, but I hope you get the picture…actually, I don’t think you want the picture….

So, I begin to pour, scared shitless at what I’m going to feel. I’m worried that it’s going to have that feeling I used to get when I used to swim a lot and I would get a snootful of pool water - gurgling, spluttering, burning and coughing. Much to my surprise and relief, it was “D) None of The Above” As the water filled my sinus cavities, I felt pressure in my skull, but it was quite like the pressure you feel when you’ve got a wicked cold and you’re all stuffed up, but not as bad because water is thinner then snot (I’m sorry, but it is). Then the disturbing part began.

The water, having filled most of my sinuses, began to run out my other nostril. This was supposed to happen, and I expected it, but for some reason it bothered me. Oh, not as much as if it had started to run out my ear, for example, but still…..

Before I knew it, the cup or so of water was done, so I removed the teapot from my nose, and stood over the sink a few more minutes, to, um, drain. Then I gently! blew my nose, and that was it. I was done the first cup. I unlocked the bathroom door. It occurred to me then that locking it might not have been a good idea, in case The Luverly Michelle™ ended up having to throw me a life preserver, or give me mouth to mouth or something.

I grabbed the second cup of water, poured it into the teapot and repeated the process, this time with Michelle watching. I guess there wasn’t anything on TV. The only “ARRGLE!” moment came when, as I was, uh, draining, I stood up a little too much and the water started pouring down my throat instead of out my nose. Not a big deal, but unexpected.

Sooooo……here I sit about 15 minutes later. And? I can breathe pretty damn good. The first 5 minutes or so after I was done I felt fairly stuffed up, but now I feel great, and can breathe better then I have almost all day. I’m guessing that with 37 plus years of crap breathed up my nose it’ll take a few rounds of this to really clear things out. Add in 15 or so years of breathing Toronto air and I’m sure I’d need dynamite to clear things out.

Well, that’s the story of filling my head with water. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you learned something from it. I hope you send me hundreds of dollars too. If you have any further questions about Nasal Irrigation…. don’t ask me! I’ve only done it once for crying out loud! Google it. Try the site I linked to first at the mayo clinic…it’s got video

If you do actually try it, let me know how it goes.

Peace, Love, and Neti Pots,

Stevie Z

PS - If you come over to my place in the near future, best not to ask for a cup of tea……

….as on Ontario highway in the spring. Sorry ladies, gents, and others, but I’m still working out the bugs. I’m going to try to start posting on a regular basis, but it’ll have to be done around the construction and renovation rubble. Many apologies, and try not to step on any nails that are sticking up, or touch any exposed wires.

In the meantime, you can also check out previous blogs, podcast episodes, etc here. Or check out my little bitty cities here or here.

Thanks Muchly,

Stevie Z

This here would be what us non-blogging, non-computer-literate types would call a “placeholder post”. Okay, I’m pretty much the only one who would call it that, so that’s what this is. I figured that I should at least put something up here while I’m designing the rest of the site…..so here’s something. At least this is a more intelligent post then Jamie Lynn Spears could come up with, I’m assuming.

Oh, and here’s a picture of my cats…sleeping peacefully….lulling you into a false sense of security….

Stevie Z (me, not the cat)