badlybent.ca

   Ah.  It seems that I’ve hit upon still another field in which I have no expertise, no talent, and not a lot of patience in either: Graphic Art.  I can play a mean guitar, write a mean song (I mean I can literally write mean songs - I once wrote a song while I was in high school about a girl who cheated on my repeatedly, so I ran her over with my car….ah, teen angst) but when it comes to drawing pretty pictures, whether with ink, paint, or digitally, I’m like a 6 year old with a case of the DTs.

If there are any graphic artists out there looking to do a little work for me doing a couple of posters, a couple of logos and maybe 1 or 2 other things I’d be eternally grateful.  I would be grateful enough to pay you, however I don’t really have any money.  I can, however give you gobs and gobs of publicity - many mentions on The Sieve! podcast,  your name or website on my Tshirts, many many mentions on this and other blogs, and all  ’round gobs of good Karma shoved in your direction.  You know, some say that good Karma is infinitely more valuable then money.  No, I don’t believe that for one second either, but it’s what some people think.  I call those people……not me.

So now I shall get up off my knees….um, no, I wasn’t begging for graphic arts help, I was cleaning cat vomit off the carpet…and thank any charity-working graphic artists in advance for contacting me…pleeeeeeeeeeeeese.

Peace, Love, and cat Puke,

Stevie Z(ee)

Okay, tonight is Friday, March 28, which means, if all goes according to plan, tomorrow will be Saturday, March 29. That is the day that between 8 and 9 pm (Eastern Standard Time) we are all supposed to turn off our stuff. All the lights, televisions, dishwashers, washing machines, dryers, vacuums, hair dryers, marital aids, electric nose hair trimmers, toy robots, toasters, EVERYTHING electrical.

At least I can still use my computer. What? Oh, damn.

In all honesty, I think it’s a great idea. The problem is, it’s not going to make a damn bit of difference. Sure, a few people might start doing a real inventory of their electrical use and cut back, but the same thing is going to happen that always happens during these brief awareness type campaigns:

To wit, all the AssHats that drive their SUVs two hours to work everyday while sucking on their Tim Horton coffees in disposable mugs and eating their Tim Horton muffins or bagels wrapped in 2 layers of wax paper and in a paper bag that has four thousand napkins in it are going to turn off the television and stereo and iPods for 1 hour, sit around the house with some candles lit, giggling at the sheer bohemian-ness (yeah, I know, it’s probably not a word) of it all. Then they’re going to drive their SUVs to Walmart on Sunday and buy more disposable crap and now their groceries too, all shipped from who-knows-where. Oh yeah, and probably water in disposable plastic bottles too. Then, on Monday they’re going to once again drive their AssHat SUVs to work and stand around with their AssHat coworkers drinking bottled water and telling absolutely totally kewl stories about how they spent one whole hour without a TV on…..before they turned it back on right at 9 o’clock of course because Friends was on and it was that one about Rachael and Ross and……*sigh*

Yeah, that’ll save the world.

Here’s the problem I see: when you really get down to it, it doesn’t matter. Let’s say that the average household uses 1000 zappawatts (hey, it’s my example, I’ll make up the units) of electricity per month. Okay, let’s say you’re a good little Citizen of the Earth and you recycle and save whales and compost in your kitchen and don’t club seals, and you cut your consumption by, say a whopping 50%. Good for you, you little hippy you. Now that means that there are 500 zappawatts being conserved. However, in the last 6 months, while you’ve managed to ensure that 3000 zappawatts were saved, the jerkball developer just opened a new housing development, and let’s say that it has 500 new houses in it. Therefore the overall consumption in your region just went UP by 500,000 zappawatts. Kinda makes the 3000 you saved look sad and pointless, doesn’t it ?

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think we should run around leaving all the lights on and driving Cadillac Escalades (unless of course the insecurity of your masculinity is that acute that you simply must) or that we should be irresponsible with our resources. Far from it. And I know that events like this do actually do some good and raise some awareness, but I heard someone on the radio today (I was accidentally listening to it) and she was blathering on about how great Ontarians were because so many had registered for Earth Hour, and wasn’t it all so fantastic, and this is going to change the world and by this time next week the universe will be in perfect Harmony and we’ll all join hands and sing Koombayah. Okay, I’m paraphrasing, but she was getting pretty rabid about it all.

Here’s what I suggest people: Why not have an Earth Hour in your home every night ? Why not turn all the crap off and play a board game? Hey, remember those? Did you know in the Goode Olde Dayes people used to play board games without DVD players? I know kids, it’s hard to remember, but they did. And I still do. Play a board game, or sit around the table and put together a puzzle.

I think the point I started to make was this - don’t turn off your cellphone, blackberry, GPS, television, DVD player, computer, dishwasher etcetera etcetera etcetera for one measly hour and then congratulate yourself for saving the environment. That’s not exactly up there with charging a French fishing vessel in an inflatable dingy in 6 foot waves out on the open ocean. Of course, that’s not saving the environment either, that’s just wacky.

Wake up in the morning, look at yourself in the mirror (in the eyes, it has to be in the eyes) and tell yourself that just today, you’re going to do 1 thing, if not to help the environment, then at least hurt it less. It could be using a refillable stainless steel water bottle instead of those disposable plastic ones. It could be turning your thermostat down, like, 2 degrees. It could be making someone aware that the faster you drive, your gasoline consumption goes up exponentially. Just do that. Just look at yourself and say “today only, I’m going to do 1 thing”.

Then, do that again tomorrow.

Baby steps mes amis, baby steps.

I’m sorry if I’ve started to sound preachy at any point. Hecks, I still go to MacDonald’s sometimes and do a lot of other stuff I shouldn’t But I do try to abide by the 1 thing a day rule.

So after you read this, and add a comment, either by email at badlybentpub@yahoo.ca, or right on this blog, and after you listen to my podcast which you can find at steviez.libsyn.com then turn off the computers and televisions and zappawatt-sucking crap that you could probably be without and still amazingly continue to draw breath, light some candles, turn off the lights too, and give someone you love a hug by candlelight. Even if it’s just yourself. Especially if it’s just yourself. And then, when it’s Earth Hour, do it again. And then, when 9 o’clock rolls around and the AssHats are turning all their crap back on….leave yours off.

I’m sure you can find something to do in the dark. Which makes me think…..I’m guessing that about 9 months from tomorrow there are going to be a lot of hippy babies born into this world. Maybe that’s not such a bad thing.

Peace, Love, and Zappawatts,

Stevie Z

PS - If you have cats or children, keep an eye or three on the candles. Actually, always keep an eye on the candles, but try to keep it that “putting the cat out” refers to just letting it outside for the evening…..

PPS - Here’s the Earth Hour website.

PPPS(?) - Who knows the artist and song title that lyric came from ?

….that’s what I been thinkin’ ”

Okay, I’m not quite there yet, but I am beginning to think I know how Fred Eaglesmith was feeling when he wrote those lines. On Sunday night on our quiet little street here in Kitchener, not 1, but 4 cars were broken into.

One of our neighbours was upset enough about it to print up a flyer and put it in everyone’s mailbox in the area, asking everyone to be more vigilant and call the cops if anything suspcious is noticed. Now I know that it’s great of her to take it upon herself to do this, and I agree that everyone should be more vigilant these days, and please excuse my French, but dammit! I don’t walk around with rose-coloured glasses, and I don’t think that the world is always a great and wonderful place (all it takes is watching the TV news for 5 minutes to tell me that, thank goodness I watch much TV) but I would like to think that at least this little corner of this little residential area is free from this kind of crap.

My wife tells me that approx. 8 or 9 years ago my her mother was home during the day and…..wait, I should mention I suppose that we purchased the house from her Mom about 4 years ago or so….long story….anyways her mother was home from work and feeling ill. The front doorbell rang. Then there was a knock. Her mother, who had been laying down, was slowly getting up. Shortly after there was a knock at the back door. This raised some suspicions, so her mother didn’t answer the door. About 5 minutes after that, some punk tried to break in via a basement window. Mom called the cops, who came fairly promptly and….and this is were it gets a little bit funny at least….followed the asshat’s footprints across the street into one of the apartment buildings, where he was promptly busted and nailed for attempted break and enter, as well as charged with theft due to a large amount of stolen goods in his apartment. Most of the goods apparently were from houses around the neighbourhood. Nice.

This neighbourhood is still one of the safer ones in Kitchener, but just how safe is “safer”? What if someone broke into our cars Sunday night? They wouldn’t have gotten anything if they had, we don’t keep valuables in our vehicles anymore. I learned this lesson over many painful attempts to have a nice car stereo and CDs in my car back in Thunder Bay. After losing 3 car stereos and about 20 some odd CDs I finally clued in and bought one of those stereros that pull completely out of the vehicle, and kept my CDs in my backpack. I also fell victim to some rotten luck when I lived in BC because I had left my boss’ brand new digital camera (and some more of my CDs, yayy) and some other stuff in a duffel bag in a company van one night when I drove it home and left it in my apartment parking lot on night. The bag was well hidden behind the seat, but someone broke in, probably completely randomly, and of course, took the stuff. In hindsight it would probably have been easier to just take the bag into my apartment with me then it was to stuff it behind the seat, but, hey, I can be an idiot sometimes.

Heck, if someone breaks into my house pretty much all they’ll get is practice.  The only reason we haven’t taken our current TV  to the Salvation Army is because A) the probably don’t want it either, and 2) The Luverly Michelle needs something to watch reruns of Friends 40 times on.  This TV is really cool -  for some reason, if it decides there is too much blue colouring on the screen (especially light blue) the entire screen starts flickering enough to send everyone within a 2 block radius into an epileptic seizure.   Oh, and they’ll get two cats too.  Hmmm….come to think of it, you can have them.

My point? I dunno. I guess that, like anyone, when even petty crime hits close to home it really makes you think. A lot. And then you get paranoid. I’ve already looked into putting a high-powered motion sensing light on the side of the house where the driveway is. That, or get a gun….

Stevie Z

PS - I’ll look up some great links to resources on how not to get your stuff stolen.

….as on Ontario highway in the spring. Sorry ladies, gents, and others, but I’m still working out the bugs. I’m going to try to start posting on a regular basis, but it’ll have to be done around the construction and renovation rubble. Many apologies, and try not to step on any nails that are sticking up, or touch any exposed wires.

In the meantime, you can also check out previous blogs, podcast episodes, etc here. Or check out my little bitty cities here or here.

Thanks Muchly,

Stevie Z