badlybent.ca

By Stevie Z

Dear Conservative Party of Canada:

Please stop sending me shit in the mail telling me how bad the Liberals, NDP and everyone else is, and how great you are as a party.  No matter how good my day is going, when I get home and look into my mailbox and see a picture of Stephen Harper (Our Current Prime Minister……damn I hate typing that) and his attempt at a smile….by the way, from one Steve to another…please stop trying to pretend you’re smiling, it doesn’t look like you’re smiling…it looks like you just shit your pants and you’re hoping that nobody noticed.  Well, if by “your pants” I mean “Canada” and by “shit” I mean, well “shit” then I guess so far you have.  I was going to scan the latest photo on the latest mail I received, but then I realized that it just wasn’t worth it.

I’m not trying to say that the Liberals are any better.  Well, I think they are better for the country,  because despite the corruption, arrogance, manipulation, etc when it comes right down to it our country runs BETTER and people are more prosperous under Liberal governments.  And really, they’re no more criminal then any other party out there, it’s just that because of their arrogance they don’t hide it as well…….

To be honest, I’m really hoping that Pierre Trudeau comes back from the dead and becomes PM again.  No, seriously, I do.   He was arrogant, but in a COOL way.  And he had class.  Name another politician right now that has that kind of class.   He had more class in his pinky finger then the entire Conservative Party has in their collective large intestines….and I’m including the colon.  (thanks for the reference, McCroskey).  For Americans and other countries who aren’t aware - Trudeau was a kickass cool Prime Minister and leader of the Liberal party a bunch of years ago.  Think of the youthful coolness John Kennedy combined with the easy class and suave of Harry Connick Jr.

Give me a politician who EXCITES me again.  Say what you want about Bill Clinton’s view of wedding vows, that guy had charm, and could run a country.   I dunno, maybe I should run….but I have no class, nor coolness, so it kind of goes against the point I was trying to make anyways…..

So, before you kill a bunch more trees to send out your propaganda in the mail, please bear this little tidbit in mind:

The only time the Conservative Party gets elected into office is when the population of Canada wants to punish the Liberal Party.  You are basically only a paddle the country uses on the ass of the Liberals.  We let you run the country for about 4 years or so, then you mess it up so badly we’re reminded how much you truly do suck, and then we elect the Liberals again and the country gets back on track.

Of course, I’m just sayin’

Stevie Z

By Stevie Z

Dear Future Shop….You Suck, and Here’s Why:

Yesterday I called a certain branch of the Future Shop. For those not in Canada, think Best Buy or whatever crap service/low price juggernaut you have in your area. I was looking for something that their website said was in stock. Having fallen for that trick before I decided tried to call and check the store stock myself. So I did. After a quick couple of rings I got voice mail, which directed me to the department I wanted by hitting ‘6′. Bunch of rings later, I hung up and called back. Went through the process again. Bunch of rings later, I hung up again. Called back again and tried to get the main reception number and just ask them to check stock. Instead of checking stock, I hear more rings, and I know she’s transferred me through to the same department where no one answers the phone. You guessed it, a bunch of rings later I hang up…..and call again! I’m nothing if not stubborn stupid.

This time I asked the main reception woman for the manager of the place - if you ever need to speak to a manager, always ask in an angry tone, this gets the point across and the manager to the phone quicker. When the manager came on the phone I asked him to check the stock on an item for me, and PLEASE DON’T PUT ME THROUGH TO THE DEPARTMENT THAT NEVER ANSWERS THE PHONE! I explained why, he apologized (of course he did, that’s what they do) and checked the stock. Nope, none in stock. But your website says you have it. Yes, but our website is only updated every hour or so. But it says for 2 days that you’ve had stock. We might have recently sold out. Okay, you win. Funny thing though, 5 hours later when I checked the online inventory again, it still showed they had stock. Is that a Bait-and-Switch tactic just to get people in, or is it gross negligence and stupidity? How about yes.

It took (get this) ***74*** rings of the phone in total to get this answer. That’s bullshit by any customer service standard. The good thing I got out of this though, is that, and you know how I love irony, the department I was trying to get through that was ignoring all that ringing? Cell Phones.

But that, my Dear Reader was not the end of my fun, fun, fun with Future Shop. Oh no. Some time ago we purchased a new computer monitor for new puter. It was an LG Flatron. We took it home and set it up, all a quiver with anticipation. Hmm, burnt out pixel. Bummer. Returned it, got a new one, no problems there.

Couple of weeks ago we bought another LG Flatron for our old puter that we set up back upstairs. Brought it home, fired it up….hmm, burnt out pixel. Pack it up, return it, and get another one. Get it home, set it up….Hmm, burnt out pixel. Pack it up, bring it back again. I’m staring to wonder if LG stands for “Lotsa Grief” because that’s what we’re buying. This time, however, Future Shop has only 3 left in stock. 2 have been opened (one of them looking exactly like the box we just returned, funnily enough) and the 3rd box looked like it had been run over by a forklift. We were thinking of maybe switching to another brand and wanted to ask someone for some assistance. I wandered for about 5 minutes and couldn’t seem to find anyone that wasn’t trying to look busy. Finally, I walked back to the monitor aisle, which is at the back of the store, cupped my hands to my mouth and yelled “Does anyone work in the computer monitor department at all, ever?!?” I guess I must have awakened someone, because we got someone over there in a hurry. I call it “The Stevie Z Paging System” and it works great for all your big box stores…

Apparently shocked that we didn’t want either opened or potentially destroyed product, they at first declined to give us a rain cheque (yeah, that’s the correct spelling, piss off because the item was on sale, and we refused the ones they had. After much, well, let’s call it “convincing” they decided to give is a refund plus a rain cheque (still spelled right!) for the next shipment.

I know it’s not Future Shop’s fault that we’ve received 3 busted monitors out of 4, but A) they told us that people almost never return stuff because it’s faulty out of the box. Funny, there were 2 people behind us, and 1 in front of us looking to exchange defective merchandise, and 2) wanting to fight with us because we wouldn’t take open or likely-damaged goods.

By the way, Best Buy is owned by the same company that owns Future Shop, so don’t think you’re sticking it to anyone by shopping there instead of FS. Interestingly enough, Best Buy sales people aren’t on commission, and Future Shop sales people apparently are. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that I’ve always had great service and knowledgeable help from Best Buy, but a kind of ‘rushed’ feeling from Future Shop people.

I also don’t want to make it sound like everyone at FS is an idiot. One of my very best friends works there, and she’s great. I’m sure that FS has some other amazingly helpful employees…I just can’t seem to find them.

I have another great story about a sales guy from Future Shop that was either a liar or an idiot, but I have a wicked hangnail on my pinky finger, and it hurts to type. So that’s for another time.

So if you’re going to deal with Future Shop, then Caveat Emptor.

Of course, I’m just sayin,

Stevie Z

As a lot of people know (because I’ve bored almost everyone I know) I am in the process of moving my living room and office downstairs.  Half of the basement of our house is “finished” and half is “utility”.  By “finished” I mean that it is done in Retro 70’s Early Cheese.  Not because it was decorated like that on purpose,  but it was last decorated IN the 70’s.  Cheesy brown faux-wood panelling matched the cheesy bright-orange-and-brown almost-but-not-quite shag carpet.   And don’t even let me get started on the lamp/ashtray that was down there.  I’ll post a photo of it when we’re done, because, well, you have to see it to believe it…..

So we primed and painted the panelling (it actually looks pretty cool, with the grooves adding a nice effect), and I re-tiled part of the ceiling and then we primed and painted that, and steam-cleaned the carpet since we couldn’t afford another $800ish for a new floor.

That was when the fun really began.

We had noticed it was really cool in the basement, but had never noticed that it was slightly damp.  Then, The Luverly Michelle steam-cleaned the 26 year old carpet, and the humidity level shot up to roughly ‘tropical rain forest’.  Seems the crappy ole’ carpet had a backing that was, apparently, made of sponge.  90% of the water that the steam cleaner put down, stayed down despite Michelle’s best attempts to suck it back up.  We could have hydroponically grown pot plants in the carpet if we’d so desired….and would have if we would have thought of it earlier…..I’m kidding Mr. RCMP Officer.

So, a workmate of mine, from work, mentioned that he had renovated his basement some time ago, and the first thing the contractor told him to do was put a dehumidifier in as soon as the work was done.  A little light went on in my head. 

$200 and a trip to Canadian Tire later (it’s a department store in Canada that specializes in automotive and household hardware, tools, fixup stuff, etc) I had a nice Whirlpool dehumidifier.

So I plugged it in, turned it on Maximum everything and went upstairs and had a beer or 3.  A couple of house later I came back down and checked the water catch basin.  There was over a gallon of water in there.  Already.  Yikes.  We’d already moved the computer and recording equipment down there - I can’t imagine what kind of damage another 2 weeks in that humidity would have done to all the electronics.  Yikes again.

 On a somewhat-related note, here’s how much I love my wife…..or how whipped I am, either/or…

We have been using the spare bedroom in our house as an office/computer room since we moved in 4ish years ago.  During that entire time I’ve been bugging The Luverly Michelle to let me convert it entirely into a recording studio.   Nothing major, just some sound absorbent stuff on the wall, get rid of the TV in there and the bookshelf…you know, minor stuff.  Every time I brought it up I was met with the argument that “we really can’t spare the space because then we’d have to move the office somewhere else, like downstairs, which isn’t finished”.  Not being a big fan of arguing, I’d lay off the idea for 2-3 months before raising it again.  Turns out, one of the main reasons that Michelle wanted me to get cracking on the whole ‘finishing the basement’ project wasn’t just so we could move the living room downstairs ( we don’t have an air conditioner, so it’s usually about 28C in the summer upstairs, but about 8 degrees cooler in the basement) but also so we could move the office downstairs and she could have the old office for a sewing room!  Well, she outsmarted me there…which isn’t that impressive actually - my cats outsmart me on a regular basis.  So, I moved the office stuff downstairs as well, and then moved her sewing desk, cutting table, etc upstairs.   We also moved and hooked up the ancient computer upstairs as well.  I was gracious and let Michelle have the computer speakers that I was using for the new ‘puter too, cuz I’m such a nice guy.

Here’s where it gets good though:  I think I ended up with a much better deal then my wife.  I’m not worried about her finding this out - she never reads this blog.  She actually has a life and stuff, and therefore better things to do.  Plus she doesn’t think I’m entertaining…..unless she watches me playing squash….that she thinks is heeelarious.

Anyhoo, here’s great thing is that I got to go out and buy a new set of ‘puter speakers.  And I picked up a fantastic pair of Altec Lansings.  Also, from what I’ve been able to determine so far, the acoustics downstairs are amazingcompared to what I was dealing with before.  Conditions for recording couldn’t be better!  Yay me!

So I guess the morals of the stories are these:
A) Dehumidifiers are your friend.  But, and this is so important that it was in BOLD type in the first page of the dehumidifier manual: DON’T DRINK THE WATER FROM THE DEHUMIDIFIER BUCKET.  YOU COULD GET SICK!

2) Always give your wife what she wants…but only if you have more to benefit then she does….

Of course, I’m Just Sayin’…

Stevie Z

I don’t know if all of my readers are aware of this, but I also have a podcast.  You can find the link over there on the Blogroll (Mmmmm, delicious blogrolls, great with some wasabi and a little soy sauce) or you can just click here you lazy bastard.

It’s similar in content and style to this blog, with some kickass music and ‘bits’ thrown in for good measure.  Also, you get to actually hear my sexy, sultry voice, which, face it, is worth the price of admission right there.  It’s been a while since I put out the last episode, but I’ve got a couple in the can that I’m editing and putting the finishing touches on right now so I can hopefully release them this weekend.  So, check out The Sieve! podcast if you get a chance. 

Your best bet is to subscribe in iTunes (just type “the sieve” into the search bar and click on ’subscribe’ because then you’ll get each episode sent to you while it’s still steaming hot, and you don’t have to keep checking the website and cursing me because I don’t have a new show out. 

So come on down and check out The Sieve! which is put out weekly…actually, that was a typo, I should say “The Sieve! is put out weakly”.

Of course, I’m just sayin…..

Stevie Z

Caveat Reader: This post contains language that some readers may find offensive. Not on purpose, I just got really pissed off while I was writing it. Um, Mom, don’t read it, okay? Neato. Also, the following criticisms most certainly do not apply to you, my friend. Readers of my blog are obviously intelligent, well-dressed, capable and considerate drivers. This is addressed to the assholes who don’t get it, never WILL get it, and probably can’t read anyways…

Alright, this happened the other day, between where I start my day and where I need to get to. Shut down the 401 near Toronto, Ontario (probably one of the busiest stretches of highway in Canada) for several hours. I wasn’t upset about the traffic snarls (as so many others were) because I just took the back roads into Toronto. Sure, it added another 45 minutes or so to my drive, but the drive through the country is SO much nicer.

But this isn’t a piece about my drive. It’s a piece about crappy drivers and road rage.

A little background here: I spend about 5 hours per day driving around Toronto and it’s “greater area” as they call it. On a daily basis I deal with….actually, let’s back up a bit and deal with the accident in the article first, then I’ll do some whining.

Before everyone sheds a tear for the driver of the SUV who died….oh yeah, I’m probably going to get a little politically incorrect and stuff here…but let’s look at the ENTIRE situation that led up to his death:

A) He was ejected from his vehicle, causing his death. He wasn’t wearing his seatbelt! That right there show little respect for laws and/or safety. Also, an informal survey of people in the past has shown me that in most cases, people whom don’t wear seatbelts tend to also tend to speed and drive less cautiously then people who DO wear seatbelts. Think about the people you know who don’t wear seatbelts…

B) He was following way too closely to the car in front of him - if you’re can’t avoid hitting the person in front of you if they should unexpectedly brake, you’re too close. ESPECIALLY when you consider he knew damn well the car in front of him was likely to pull something stupid.

C) Like a lot of SUV owners, he was incapable of handling his vehicle. I see so many people on the roads and highways every day driving their big heavy SUVs like they were Honda Civics - not leaving enough braking room, not leaving enough space for maneuvering, and not considering that other drivers in smaller, more practical vehicles can’t see around or over them.

D) Before we cry for the SUV driver, and demand hanging for the driver of the other vehicle, take a moment to consider what might have been going on in the moments before the crash. I’m not saying by any stretch that the SUV driver deserved to DIE for whatever bullshit he was engaged in, but there allegedly was some some history between these two vehicles that led up to the crash. Until a witness comes forward we won’t know if the SUV driver didn’t do that exact same thing to the other driver before they got to the highway? How do we know the SUV driver didn’t possibly even attempt to run the other driver off the road previously? Let’s not stone or canonize anyone until we know the facts….which may never happen.

The police are so damn quick to jump into the media and decry road rage and aggressive driving, which I agree need to be dealt with…HOWEVER: the cops really do need to start cracking down on the assholes who CAUSE a lot of the road rage in the first place. Let’s take the example of the left hand lane. The 401 has either 3 or 4 lanes each way, depending on where you are. The left most lane is called the “passing lane” or “fast lane” and if you’re going to drive in it for any length of time…..THEN BE PASSING SOMEONE! According to the actual Ontario Highway Traffic Act YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO EVEN BE IN THAT LANE IF YOU’RE NOT IN THE ACT OF PASSING ANOTHER VEHICLE!! There are even signs all over the province stating “Slower Traffic Keep Right” I don’t know how often I pull up behind someone in that lane moving slower then the flow of traffic, who flat out refuses to move over, despite plenty of room to do so. Tailgating, flashing high beams at them, etc doesn’t do anything - I used to do it all. I don’t anymore, because really, what’s the point? But seriously, fuck you. Move over.

Another wonderful aspect to driving: Apparently about 85% of the vehicles out there have malfunctioning signal lights. Well, not really, I think they have malfunctioning assholes behind the wheels. Think about it…it’s called a ’signal’ light or an ‘indicator’ light because you’re supposed to use it to SIGNAL or INDICATE to the world around you what you are about to do! I know that YOU know what kind of brilliant maneuver you’re about to execute, but since I have to adjust my driving accordingly, so I don’t, say plow into the side of your freakin’ car…how’s about a little heads up so I don’t have to be Dione Warwick and predict what you’re going to do? Jerkass.

If I am about to pass you because you’re driving slower then the flow of traffic, DON’T SPEED UP AND CUT ME OFF just because you don’t want me in front of you. This ain’t NASCAR here Tony Stewart, know how I can tell? We’re turning right. If you insist on being a moving roadblock, don’t get upset with me because I want to get home before the new Guns and Roses album comes out.

That cruises me nicely into my next point - PLEASE don’t come racing up beside me with an extra 30 kms/hour over and above what I’m doing, and pull in front of me and SLAM ON YOUR BRAKES TO AVOID CRASHING INTO THE PERSON IN FRONT OF ME!! Congratulations, you’re now approximately 17 feet closer to your goal, and you almost wiped out 3 cars in the process. Go you, assclown.

Since I’m already on a roll here, I’ll throw in the people who drive around lost. Gee, I don’t know where I’m going, so instead of pulling off to the side and letting the 13 cars that I’ve collected behind me because I’m going from 70 kms/hour and then down to 20 while I look around me in stupid confusion go by me, I’ll continue to signal left, then right, then speed up and slow down again. Look, Magellan, pull off the road, buy a map, make a phone call, do what you have to, but GET OUT OF THE WAY WHILE YOU DO IT!

And since this has also been in the news lately…cell phones. Oh tiny, tumor-causing chunks of plastic and metal. What would do without you? I’ll tell you what we’d do - WE’D DRIVE A LOT BETTER!! I think that anytime there is even so much as a fender bender on the roads or highways the police should subpoena the cell phone records of the persons involved. If the time of the crash corresponds to the time the cell phone was being used, BOOM, automatic fine or penalty. I think the penalty should be to have the phone shoved up the person’s ass. And if it’s a flip phone, open it first. If it’s a camera phone though, I don’t think we need to see the inside of their colon. We already know what an asshole looks like…they’re the ones causing the accidents.

Look, it’s a car. It’s not a phone booth, or a movie theatre! WHY ARE THERE DVD PLAYERS IN CARS?!?!? And those GPS units are another great distraction too. Buy a map. Or yet, hey, look up where you’re going ahead of time, and print off the related maps. Then you have a personalized map. Yay! Our ancestors made it through giant primeval forests, and ships can navigate across seemingly endless seas without maps our even street signs. If you can’t get from here to WalMart without some Artificial Cow’s voice telling you “turn left in 2.3 kilometers…..turn left in 2.1 kilometers” etc, then please, head to the British Columbia, take the Sea To Sky Highway…and turn…left…now.

Finally, speed. I will be the first to admit ( I say ‘admit’ like it’s something I should feel guilty or ashamed about) that I tend to often drive over the posted limits. If it’s 50 I’ll frequently do 60…if it’s 60 I’ve been known to do 70-75. On our nation’s highways, where the posted speed is often 100 KMs/Hour, I’ll commonly do 120. But here’s the thing - if traffic is heavy, I SLOW DOWN, if the weather is crappy, I SLOW DOWN, if it’s night time, I SLOW DOWN. I drive according to conditions. And to the people who puff themselves up with Righteous Indignation and testify that “Speed Kills!!” I say “no it doesn’t. Speed doesn’t kill, the inability to handle your vehicle in the situations, and most of all, stupidity kill. If you’ve lost control of your car because you were doing 130 in a 50 zone and, gosh darn it, you just couldn’t make that turn, then the cause of the accident wasn’t speed, it was stupidity. Don’t lump me in with those dickheads. Want to know a HUGE unsung cause of accidents? Driving too SLOWLY. Yeah, that’s what I said. If the posted speed is 100 kms/hour, the flow of traffic is 110-120, and YOU are doing 90, guess who’s the problem? People have to change lanes to cut around you, and that creates potential accidents. Speed up and drive with traffic, or get in the kiddy pool. If you’re not comfortable with those speeds, DON’T DRIVE ON THE HIGHWAYS!

I could go on and on a list a million other things that idiotic, blind, stupid and just plain ignorant drivers do that I see every day, but I’m sure most of you are familiar with these and others. In fact, leave a comment below about what pisses you off on the pavement.

Until the police start really tightening up the leash on puddingheads that cause the road rage, then it will continue. And it’s pretty obvious that as the pressures of money, gas prices, workloads, etc get more intense, road rage will worsen exponentially. Add to that the fact that most people seem to feel a false sense of security in their cars, and they forget that the person they just cut off and forced to swerve to avoid hitting you isn’t another car: it’s someone’s father. Or their mother, or their son, or their sister. You’re not more important then me, and I’m not more important then you. And if you have to drive like a maniac because you’re late, don’t put my life at risk, shithead, learn to organize your time.

Calm the hell down, learn to drive properly, and have some consideration for those around you.

Of course, I’m just sayin…..

Stevie Z

Okay, let me start by saying if you haven’t heard the “monster truck” promo I did for the Podcasters Across Borders conference, listen to it here. Then come back and read some more….

Back? Neato.

Okay, now listen to this reply from “Steve from Frankfurt” after he heard it on a really cool internet marketing podcast called Six Pixels of Separation (which by the way, you should really check out), followed by host Mitch Joel’s response.

I’m not going to rag on this guy because he didn’t like my piece. I’m not offended that he didn’t like it. What upsets and offends me are several other things - things that I’m going to go through in a minute. But first, let me tell you the story of another guy who did something that was one of the best examples of ironic humour in the history of irony, and caught a pantload of flack for it.

Randy Newman, one of the greatest lyricists and songwriters ever had a little song called ‘Short People‘. It was a little novelty song he threw together for his album Little Criminals, released in October of 1977. He released the song as a single, and it gained as much notoriety as it did popularity. Why? Because people listened to the first few lines and had a shit fit. They took the first few verses at face value, and by the time the chorus came around to explain to the truly thick what the song was really about, they had already gone flying off the handle in a good old-fashioned apoplectic rage. What the Quick-To-Righteous-Anger didn’t realize was that it was a song crying out against racism and appearance-based judgments. I’ve even known people who were otherwise very intelligent folks who flipped out about the song, many many years later. Speaking of Mr. Newman, as I was, he is probably one of the greatest songwriters in terms of use of irony - if you don’t believe me just check out his amazing tunes like “It’s Money That Matters” along with a host of others and you’ll see what I mean.

What do I have in common with Randy Newman? Sweet@#$%^& All, that’s what. Other then a love of irony, sarcasm and an agreement that sport coats look really really cool.

I have a PhD in Irony, with a Masters in Sarcasm, and a BSc in B.S. Unlike Alanis Morrisette I know what irony is, and I know how to use it….and I’m not afraid to.

So many people discount irony as a tool of humour because they worry that ‘people won’t get it’, or that people will be offended. You know what? If I say your mother is fat, be offended, if I say that…..well fancy that, I can’t think of a smart-ass sarcastic example right there….hmmmm.

A lot of the funniest, cleverest stuff I’ve ever seen, heard or read is stuff that, most likely, the majority of people didn’t ‘get’. Listen to a song from 20-30 years ago and listen to music from today. Media and art used to challenge people to think about what they were saying, and now it’s spelled out for you in very…..plain…..tiny…..words.

I’m not a snob who thinks I’m better then someone else because I enjoy thinking about what I consume. If you think that then you’re stupid…teehee. All my point is, is that if you don’t ‘get’ something, don’t go all apeshit about it, as Steve from Frankfurt did. Don’t call other people down, or criticize, or complain, or condemn because you missed the boat. Mitch Joel hit it right on the head though, when he observed what, I believe almost everyone else did: it was ironic to promote new media using a hackneyed cliched throwback of an advertising style that never was all that effective, but for some reason still persists to this day. Jay Moonah of Media Driving also commented on this aspect.

Another thing I found interesting about ‘Steve from Frankfurt’s comment was that he started the damn call stating that he found it ironic, and then walked off the pier.

Also, his statement that even if he lived in Canada he wouldn’t have attended the conference because of the promo shows a very shallow way of thinking. To write something completely off because of one, tiny, piece of information is ludicrous at best, and petty at worst. And everything else aside, I think the promo did do the conference justice because although I’d never been to a “new media, blogging, podcasting” related conference before, I’ve been to many others for many other industries, and I have to say the level of energy for the entire weekend, from speakers, from audience members, from the organizers, from everyone involved - was huge. I felt more energized everyday and evening for that weekend then I have in a long time - it was exciting as well as informative. It’s hard to make these kinds of things sound exciting to me (I’m not too bright, so I don’t understand a lot of stuff) but this conference had an amazingly energetic vibe.

Perhaps THE most offensive thing I found with his comment, though, had nothing to do with the promo. It was his statement about “that’s not what podcasting is supposed to be”. According to whom? You, Steve from Frankfurt? Is your full name “Steve Podcasting”? Perhaps I missed the memo that stated that you were going to decide what podcasting would and would not be. I’ve been toiling under the misapprehension that podcasting was about the masses deciding what they would want, and would therefore shape the medium. I understood that it was about Joe and Jill Everyperson grabbing a microphone and telling the world or whomever cared to listen what they felt like talking about.

I’ve heard podcasts that were shit - no, scratch that - shit would have been an improvement, and I’ve heard podcasts that totally blew me away. I can’t recall the urge to get in touch with the Shitcasters and tell them “that’s not what podcasting is supposed to be, if you don’t believe me, ask Steve from Frankfurt.”

I’ve always hated useless or pointless criticism (is that being too critical??) of anything. If you’ve got a problem with something, cool - that’s what life is about, but just saying something is “stupid” without giving any kind of constructive or reasonable or relevant answer as to why you have that opinion is just….well…..stupid. For example - I hate Dr. Phil’s television show with a passion. And I can tell you why: His oversimplified answers to complicated problems, and his willingness to bring the show to lower and lower levels for higher ratings. I’m sorry “Dr.” but the whole entire “let’s match a racist up with a black person” etc. has already been done - first by Geraldo Rivera, and more successfully by Jerry Springer - and at least they weren’t pretending to be sophisticated psychologically helpful television shows. They admitted they were baseless circuses catering to the lowest common denominator. You, Phil, are an embarrassment to real doctors everywhere. By the way, say ‘hi’ to Britney Spears the next time you barge into her life desperately trying to get ratings and attention.

See? That was constructive. Okay, maybe more cathartic for me, but you get the picture I hope.

If you have a problem with something, make sure you understand it before you criticize or condemn it, please. If you have nothing helpful or nice to say…..don’t.

IRONY RULES!

Of course, I’m just sayin…..

Stevie Z

PS - Steve from Frankfurt - you didn’t leave me a link to your blog or podcast, which I’d be interested in checking out, to see how I might be able to improve what I’m doing.

PPS - By the way Steve from Frankfurt - Crazy Eddie says he’s glad his commercials had such an impact on you that you still remember them and are talking about them, and him. And stop by sometime and he’ll give you wholesale on a new MP3 player…..

I saw this article the other day online, and it really kind of upset me. I’ve never been much of a cat person to be honest, even though I have 2. My wife wanted a pet of some sort, and a dog just didn’t fit in that much with our lifestyle (we’re on the go a lot), fish and rodents are kind of boring, birds make more noise then I do, so a cat seemed like the right choice.

Here’s the kicker - I’m allergic to cats. Not just a little allergic, a lot allergic. We’re talking gasping, wheezing, sneezing, coughing, eyes pouring tears, rashes and hives, swelling-up allergic. Whenever I walk into even a pet store, for example, that has cats in it, after a couple of minutes my throat starts to tickle, so I have to bail.

I tell you this A) to add a little more length to this blog post, and 2) because I felt really bad that I couldn’t just go to the pound and adopt a cat. I really wanted to rescue a little kitty that needed it, but it wasn’t an option because I would have been dead in 10 minutes if I’d walked into the Humane Society here in town. So I had to buy a Bengal cat, which is a domestic cat that was cross-bred with an Asian Leopard wildcat. I’m glad I wasn’t there for that, it would have been interesting….but I digress.

One of the fascinating aspects of the Bengal is that they tend to have more of a ‘pelt’ then regular cat hair, and because of this are somewhat hypo-allergenic, and therefore, won’t kill me. We ended up with 2 because another characteristic is that they really really love to play, and when we got Sushi (our first one) we quickly realized she needed someone to tear around the house with, hence the addition of Sake, our second Bengal.

I still feel bad about not being able to rescue a kitty from the pound, however, and since I can’t even volunteer there because of my allergies, I drop off a big-ass bag of kitty litter (or “Shit Rocks” as I like to call it) when I can because they always seem to be in need of it.

So I’m asking ya’ll to do this - head down to your local Humane Society and see what you can do to help. If it’s donating some cash, great. Maybe drop off a few bags of litter or some toys or something - see what they require. And especially if you’re looking for a dog or cat, please, look to the Humane Society first. So many dogs and cats sit in tiny little cages, some for really long periods of time just waiting for someone to give their love to.

I thank you, and more importantly, they thank you.

Of course, I’m just sayin….

Stevie Z