Vote Sieve!
By Stevie Z
Obviously, the Conservative Party of Canada (formerly the Reform and Alliance parties before they merged. Maybe they decided to change the name because the Canadian Reform Alliance Party spelled “CRAP”, which, in my opinion, is more accurate ANYWAYS, but I digress….wow, and only 6 words in, too.) Anyhoo, obviously the CRAP doesn’t read my blog at all, because HERE I plainly asked them to stop sending me their propaganda shit in the mail.
Not only have they NOT stopped killing defenseless trees and sending me the remains (by the way, you want to see the Conservative’s attitude towards environmental issues? Take a look at how much stuff that they’ve cut down trees, processed using toxic chemicals, printed using MORE toxic chemicals, and then mailed to me, all of the previous using fossil fuels and creating more greenhouse gasses. Thanks, Stephen Harper, for thinking that one through! Kudos to you!
Actually, I’ve started saving all the shit they send me…them and Rogers Cable. I get flyers from them too….almost EVERY SECOND DAY! No foolin! So I’ve started saving all the crap the Conservatives send me….and I’m thinking of shredding it and dumping it in their office here in Kitchener. It won’t be considered littering, I’m sure - their offices are already full of useless garbage…oops, I mean Conservative Party Members….hehe…I said “members”. Come to think of it, that’s not even a double entendre, because when I say ‘members’, I mean well…libel is a gray area, isn’t it? Come to think of it again, do you realize that the word “libel” is only a couple of letters away from “Liberal”? Or that if you switch a couple of letters in the Hadron Collider, you get Hardon Collider? And the Conservative Party of Canada is only a couple of letters away from “big business loving, ass-kissing, ignorant, heartless bastards”? I’m not saying they ARE, just that the spelling is REALLY REALLY close.
Um, what was I talking about before I started frothing ? Oh yeah: today I got the second stupidest letter I’ve EVER received or even SEEN in my entire life. The first stupidest (but not by much) was a letter from Sears Canada outlining all their new great Sears Club (IE Credit Card) bonuses, etc. and how much they’d love to present a brand new card. It was all very standard stuff, if it hadn’t been addressed to Michelle’s mother, whom had PASSED AWAY SIX MONTHS PREVIOUS! “Bah, easy mixup” you say. It wasn’t the fact that it was junk mail addressed to someone who had shuffled off this mortal coil, but the fact that Sears Canada was joyfully offering a credit card addressed “To The Estate of…” Now THAT is stupidity. I’ve still got copies of that letter, and I’m saving them for a major Sears asskicking someday.
But back to my ORIGINAL, original point: today I received a letter from the Conservative Party of Canada. ADDRESSED TO ME. Let me stress that: It was very much addressed to me, with my name, and address and everything. I opened it, and there were 2 pieces of paper inside. One was a letter with a lot of writing on it, which I couldn’t read because it was in Polish. The second was Polish on one side, and english on the other. It explained in fair detail how much a supporter my local candidate was, is, and always will be of the Polish community. Neato. That’s great, I’m glad he supports the Polish community. I know many Polish people back in Thunder Bay. In fact, my all-time favouritist teacher was Polish. Ah, Mrs. Orzech, thanks for showing me that being an idiot was going to make life difficult should I proceed down that path. I also LOVE Polish food. I DO have to wonder, however, why our local candidate (Stephen Woodworth, btw) informed me of his special love for Polish people since I’M NOT POLISH! Seriously. I’m Ukranian. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not offended because he though I was Polish…after all, Poland has more culture then a lot of countries - the USA comes to mind…but that he ASSUMED that I was Polish because my last name starts with a Z, and has a lot of consonants in it. It also has a Y at the end of it. I could understand the confusion a LITTLE more if, say, it ended in an i instead. But a Y? I’ll tell you Y - because, like most Conservative candidates, from what I’ve seen, have no clue, and don’t CARE to have a clue. Look at how many CRAP members have had to resign IN THE LAST MONTH or so, because of everything from stealing speeches to mocking the relatives of brave soldiers killed in Afghanistan, to belittling Native Canadians. It shows a deep ignorance, and, dare I say it, a RESENTMENT of Canadians. At least, Canadians that don’t own banks or oil companies.
This is an ACTUAL jpg taken from Stephen Woodworth’s website, for a link. I think it probably is a great representative of the slack-jawed, dairy cow, deer in the headlights kind of intelligence of some of these people.
Wow. I guess I should take it down a notch, eh? I’m sorry if I’ve offended you. If you’re a Conservative supporter…well, that’s what democracy is all about, eh? To each his own. Besides, it’s not like the other parties are throwing up much in the way of alternatives.
One last thing though, even if you’re as pissed off and frustrated as I am over this joke of an election (that, according to Harper’s own “election laws” should be illegal) then don’t NOT vote. Seriously - if you don’t vote at all it counts as apathy. If you vote for one of the ‘fringe parties’ then it gives those lunatics validation, so don’t do that either. Spoil your ballot by doing one of the following: A) put an X at the bottom and write “None of the Above” next to it, or 2) Put an X at the bottom and write “badlybent.ca” next to it. A vote for Stevie Z is a vote for….well, me, I guess, but I’m not running. Maybe next time. Problem is, someone once said something along the lines that if you’re going to wrestle pigs, you’re going to get muddy yourself.
Of course, I’m just sayin’
Stevie Z
